Tushita Meditation

If you want an experience of a life time. Head to Mcleod Ganj, India Immediately!! Forget all the psychologists and counseling. I promise. Study Buddhist philosophy and it will change your life.

I just spent the most amazing week in Tushita Meditation Centre located in whats referred to as the "Baby Himalayas". Walking distance from Mcleod Ganj city centre. Mountains, clean fresh air, rich with spirituality and culture and "momos" (Tibetan Dumplings)!. A slice of heaven I tell ya's!.. oh yeah...Tushita. So Tushita runs introduction to Buddhism week long courses in (supposed) silence. The Nun (Female Buddhist Monk) who was conducting the course was Venerable Robina.... (You Tube and Google her, so worth it). To my surprise she was Aussie! oi oi oi!...which of course was amazing as not only have I not heard an Austrayan accent for 2 months I have never sat still for so long and not fallen asleep. This to me is a KPI. Key Performance Indicator. She had my undivided attention for 6 days straight.

I would love to reiterate everything I learnt there...but in sum, I will just say this "simple guidelines to live by" and if you want true peace and freedom....start with your own mind.

a different world

I'm sitting at a chai stand waiting for a friend to arrive from Delhi. Just off the main square there is an old man that 'literally' peeps out of a hole in the wall. He makes a delightful chai tea and some simple boiled eggs.

Approximately two minutes ago a little girl I have seen for the past 3 morning arrives with her grandmother and a man who could be her father who carries her box of fresh Tibetan bread. It's 5.43am in the morning and this little girls sits here to sell the fresh Tibetan bread to passers by. Right now there is not so many people walking by so she talks from her little seat to this old man and a customer from the chai stand about, only they know what, but I'm guessing it was to use the old mans broom to clean her little space, he offers her water to wash her hands. She sits patiently with her father and grandmother.

This place really makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Did this little girl stay up late last night or wake up early this morning to make the bread to sit here in fairly chilly weather to make a small income for her own pocket money or for her family. Again, only they will know. Only I can draw conclusions.

She natters away in the softest little voice, that eludes to a stranger like me, innocence, youthful wisdom and independence. I would love to talk to her in Tibetan... But I might try with English. :)

Maybe if I had tried Nepalese. She wasn't Tibetan at all. Selling the Tibetan bread threw me. She spoke very little English but understood the basics, how old are you? do you have brothers and sisters? Etc.

So how her story goes. She wakes up at 1am to make 160 pieces of the freshest Tibetan sweet bread ever with her mother and father to sit here for almost 3 hours before she heads to school at 8am. She sells it for 6 Rupees per piece. I pay her 60 rupees every time because she is a sweet kid earning an honest living and she wouldn't be sitting there if she didn't need to. She has 2 sisters 1 is 15 and the other is 5 and two brothers 1 that is 2 and the other I'm not sure I missed his age.

Can you believe it. This little Nepalese angel sits here selling bread for 3 hours before she goes to school.

At 12 years old, I was dragging my self out of bed at 7 in the morning in my perfectly ironed uniform to catch the bus and hang out with friends at the train station before school and maybe grabbing a McDonald's hash brown and an OJ before sitting in an all girls catholic school receiving a high quality education... Again, It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Not with pity, or guilt but with a sudden urge to selflessly serve and perhaps teach English to young children of the world. Educate them in real world survival, something they can use to apply to their own life and perhaps one day run their own business and travel the world and consider themselves lucky and pass on their knowledge and so the process continues.

Soham...i am that i am that i am that i am...

Soham

My own personal and officially initiated mantra by Swami Durgananda on Friday 4th of November 2011.

I chose 'soham' as my mantra, as it is correlates with a word that I stumbled across earlier this year and resonated with instantly. So much so that I had it tattooed on my right forearm in Sanskrit "tatvamasi" so that I never forget...  (see my tatvamasi post)

Soham and tatvamasi mean exactly the same thing, though the biggest difference being, soham has a sound vibration which represents the inhalation and exhalation of breathe to which one can use to meditate and when repeated, soham soham soham... translates to "I am that I am that I am that I am..." Tatvamasi on the other hand is used more in a philosophical context, it is derived from vedic philosophy and translates to "thou are that" or "i am that".

To be completely honest, I had never heard of 'soham' until this month. I was familiar with 'hamsa'  which is same, same but slightly different. It is actually the same sound vibration as 'soham' but in reverse. Let me explain... with 'soham', on the inhalation you say soooooo and on the exhalation you say hummmmm. and with 'hamsa' on the inhalation you say hummmmm and on the exhalation you say saaaa.

Sounds a little complicated but if your like me and fairly new to mantras, its best to keep your mantra the same and keep it simple. Find a mantra that you like the sound of (there are hundreds, if not thousands' and repeat it in your mind while taking your 20 minutes of silent meditation. If your mind wonders, just keep repeating the mantra in your head and focus on the space between your eyes. The Ajna chakra. Though the Bija mantra for this chakra is om (aum) it is a nice simple method for keeping focus and bring your mind to silence.

Mc Leod Ganj

View From My Room - Annex Hotel

11th Nov Post

So I have finally found a little slice of heaven. It may be too soon to say this on my journey through India, but I’m saying it anyway. Do you know what it feels like to arrive in a place and somehow magically feel connected to it?... I'm not sure how just yet, but I love the energy and peace that I instantly felt upon arrival.

A few things have been scrolling through my mind today, none of which has been productive but nevertheless they are there on repetition. 1. Traveling on my own, 2. Give up smoking, 3. Eat better for energy and mental clarity.

To expand on each of these…Traveling on my own, making my own decisions and running to my own schedule. Vital for my own personal exploration, space and growth. To be putting your actual needs second just to keep the peace and avoid confrontation. Not part of the plan. But I also feel that I need to endure it so as to observe my thoughts and actions in these situations. I definitely do not like what is coming up (in terms of thoughts and frustration) and so remaining humble and composed is challenging. How I see it…A multi-dimensional situation that can be looked at many ways, though I may be over complicating it by simply not being straight up. Probably the case! How to manage it? Patience and / or honesty. What a choice!?

Giving up smoking permanently. This has been a challenge for a long time and being here and walking the mountains, I want to do it for good. I will. I’m on to it. Nuff said. J

The last thought…eat better, feel better. Its not that I am eating fried foods or sandwiches and cakes, its that changing from meat eater to vegetarian takes its toll. Ummmm excuse me, that’s just my excuse. I think the point being, not having the regular schedule and routine (which mind you, I worked so hard to get out of) makes it difficult to have set meal times. What has worked for me and works best for me, is eating smaller meals at regular intervals. At this stage I have not eaten meat for almost 2 months and I like it. So when I leave Mcleod Ganj I will continue to eat natural foods only. I'm using my 2 weeks here to gain a little momentum and have a schedule for a couple of weeks and of course do some TREKKING! Yew!!!!!....

Amritsar The Golden Temple and BED BUGS

My Arm Swollen Like a Bitch

I'm really not wanting to be the ignorant little westerner that is nattering away in my head as I write this. But guess what, so is the case! Amritsar...I'm neither here nor there with this place, would 'indifferent' be the appropriate word to describe this feeling of blah... perhaps it is just my calm sense of being right now and the observation of my surroundings.

My travel buddy, Martina is pretty sick today so I'm off doing my own thing, at intervals of course, to check in on her and its also pretty intense out on the streets on your own. But I don't feel unsafe and if I did, I could sprint to the Golden Temple.

Besides the Golden Temple there is not allot to do in Amritsar except perhaps explore the tiny, narrow, cascading back streets, which I must say are pretty interesting to browse if your a wholesaler looking for something specific. I on the other hand bought cookies and felt proud! I was also proud not to have been knocked over by Sikhs on motor bikes and cycle rickshaws all weaving through the foot traffic at lighting speed to probably get no where special... Fast!

The mood here is sombre, yet alive. Or it could be me just being a indecisive GIT!

The majority of the population here are sikhs. They were turbans and have long uneven beards. I have never seen or felt such dedication by being in a place. It's pretty much the first thing that comes to mind when you arrive here, after of course... "where the fuck am I". Sikhs are totally devoted to their faith, you can immediately see that they live by it. Not sure what or whom the gods are but it has to be pretty special as the vibe you feel upon entering the temple after being gobsmacked with the temples beauty and the number of people in there is of course the purity, and the "vibrations" from the chanting continuously played through a 'Bose' sound system. The temple is open 24 hours, provides free accommodation for foreigners, free food and has shops and amenities surrounding the perimeter. You could hang out there all day or even live there if you were a pure devotee. I left the next day and headed to Dharamashala.

I'm now sitting in a great little restaurant plugging away at the iPhone, blogging, after inhaling a vegetable "Vegetable Dosa" and half of my first "Banana Lassi". All so yum and tasty!! And gone in 60secs.

So before I pay the bill... Let me just say, you ain't seen nothing yet girlY!! I'm sure of it, this place proves it. Love or Hate it there is so much more to see, learn experience and taste... And I can't fuckinG wait!!

WARNING. I may as well add here, that if you travel to Amritsar DO NOT stay at the Lucky Guest House (recommended by lonely planet) near the Golden Temple.  I got BED BUGS here and 4 days later I'm still itchy and worried that they may scar....just a tip. The place to stay if you want a recommendation is the Hotel Sapphire, closer to the Golden Temple in a quieter location. More Expensive, but the only clean place we found once we upped the budget to 1500 rupees.

India Rail

8th Nov

On a train from new Delhi to Armistar. What an awesome awesome invaluable experience. After a fairly traumatic morning in order to purchase a same day ticket to an unexpected location (as I'm supposed to be in Nepal right now) we decided Haridwar in the morning but due to visa bullshit etc we decided Armistar.... Anyways.. I once again randomly tangent... My point. Medium distance train journeys. 7hrs. What a fascinating and insightful experience. Fascinating because every other minute there  are vendors walking up and down the isles of the train selling either cold drinks, biriyani, cold dhal, key rings, people crawling on the floor sweeping up old peanut shells and other rubbish, or young children doing forward rolls up and down the isle and using a small iron hoop for contortions and body manipulations for a finale!! Insightful... Because, besides us being the centre of attention for about 20-30 by standers (men of course) all of these people toward the end of the journey are giggling and communicating with one another as if they have been long time friends and or could possibly be brothers or relatives.

Meditation...

Free therapy. silence, stillness, your own inner sanctuary, clarity, peace of mind, energy and vitality...all intangible outcomes that no one can give you or take away from you.

You can read as many books as you like as to how to meditate but it is not until you practice practice practice that the most profound happens. I will not use the word skill to explain my next point but essentially mediation is an experience that you have to continually practice and thus cultivate in order to see and feel the difference.

When it comes to meditation, it really is "different strokes for different folks", that is, Different techniques suit different people. But of course I can only speak for me. As I am now traveling it is harder to come up with the routine that I live at home, but I use music and guided meditations on my ipod to offer myself silence when in transit.

Here is a sketch of my everyday life living in Sydney.

5am Wake up (hot water with lemon followed by omlette)

6am Train Client

7am Sand Run or some form of cardio vascular exercise

8.30am Train Client

9.45am Vinyasa Yoga + Meditation

12pm Teach Class

1.30-2pm Power Smoothie + Omlette and or Steamed Broccoli

2pm ish 20-30 min Silent Meditation in my own space (usually my room)

3-4pm Afternoon power nap

6-7.30 pm Teach Class

8pm Dinner

10pm - 11pm Open eye meditation for 5-10mins before lying down to sleep.

It doesn't seem like a lot of meditation, but due to the forces and speed at which most of us live our life, having 1 hour to our self to do something other than relax, can be mission impossible. 

So you have to find a method and a means in which you can dedicate to your self. While traveling, I use my ipod and listen to healing music, chanting, soft instrumentals and guided meditations a nice way to take a break from the chain of thoughts that will continue to flow if you allow.

So if you have a busy mind, feel anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated or feel like you need therapy?

The cure... practice meditation, there is not right or wrong way, remain open to new techniques and ideas, explore different philosophies and most importantly listen to yourself carefully...believe it or not, you do know what is right for you. You may just have to ask better questions.

Changing Undies

Saggy Y Fronts

Women and their emotions what a phenomena [fi-nom-uh-nuh]. I probably should of called this post toilet paper as it would of been more suitable to actually describe the rapidly changing emotions and hormones that is going on when 8 women from different pockets of the globe (Germany, USA and Oz) are deposited randomly into a room share situation in an ashram in the rural North India to complete a  yoga teacher training course whereby self exploration is a common objective... and therefore mood swings by the hour be part of the daily routine. For the most part we all work pretty well together for a bunch of strangers, but over time your own self exploration becomes about how you feel about other people in your face and space... firstly because you have none and secondly that's why we are all here, our changing perception of the world.

I'm Australian so I'm a huge fan of what we call "wingeing" similar to the English terms, moaning and complaining. I don't winge nearly as much as I used to because I am now able to remove myself or avoid situations that disgruntle me. But sometimes you are tempted to ask, am I impatient? negative? intolerant? a plain ol bitch? Well I would love to answer this and say HELL NO! but to a proportionate degree I believe I am all of the above, in which proportions remains questionable to ones mood on any given day. Today its obviously higher than lower but generally speaking I think that the bitch-om-eter reading would remain fairly low and spike up when and if necessary.

Here's a tangent for ya!....

Observation  of ones thoughts is as intriguing as it is to wonder what kind of underwear someone is wearing, just like their mood. Plain, patterned, happy, sad, see through, emotional, sexy G-strings, extroverted, lace, outgoing, fishing twine, uncomfortable, Y-Fronts, conservative full brief, high wasted or saggy stretched almost ready to be thrown out.  Sometimes you will just never know or would be able to pick it... :-/ Though it may just be me that wonders about these sorts of things and can draw strange parrallels such as this, but somehow in this den of persepctives it is a frequently occuring attribute that exists within. I call it a gift. :)

Cramp my style

Talk about expect the unexpected. Well a woman's lunar cycle is a part of life... On a monthly basis... But when it is fortnightly is this a gift or a curse? Either way it's an inconvenience when ones ashram uniform is white pants (to represent purity)!

Reality Vs Spirituality

The complete renunciation of urges, desires and worldly possessions. Material objects don't, can't and shouldn't not be obtained if there is attachment. Vows of celibacy, impulses, urges, lust, greed, anger, the removal ego, no desires, live with dispassion, no attachment, no prejudices... Is living entirely like this for the average person even possible in a western world or even for the developing nations of the eastern world? In this day and age we are exposed to and often consumed by the acquisition of "THINGS"... it is no fault of our own, it is how the world and its economies operate. So if you are to survive in this world we are taught to study hard and work hard in order to provide for ourselves and our families... 

Over time we forgot the basics, and in forgetting the basics we were unable to tune in to what really made us happy and soon enough we found ourselves doing something we didn't really enjoy doing and then we realised that the only thing that makes 'me' happy and will continue to make 'me' happy is to spend 'my' life the way 'I' choose...and then we eventually come back to the basics...we discover that objects external to us are not what defines us. We ask the conventional questions who am I? what is my purpose? what really makes me happy?

So to bring it back to my first point, is living a completely spiritual path entirely possible with 100% purity? I think yes, if that is your destiny. But in my mind two worlds exist. Reality and Spirituality. So how do we apply spirituality in 'our' reality? Tough question. It seems that two extremes and ways of living are coming to a head east (spiritual) meets west (material) in this spiritual battle for freedom within. Striking a balance is easier than it sounds and applying eastern philosophy (whatever it may be) to a western life requires allot of commitment, discipline and awareness. Renouncing ones self to a life of celibacy may not be entirely possible but reducing ones urges to have sex for the sake of sex to feed ones ego may be something one is to consider if they are seeking happiness within. 

Using spirituality and exploring different philosophies as an approach to living, will over time naturally see the removal of desires, ego, attachment and therefore pain, anger and suffering. It is a gradual process that requires lots and lots of practice and belief in ones self to do so.

Scrabble

Nothing Like a good game of Scrabble!

Who am I, where do I come from, where am I going, how do I get there? All pretty simple questions yeah... Well depends I guess on who you are, where u came from, where you decided to go and how you got there!

Cryptic? It may be so... But let's face it, are these not the questions of life?  Some people seem to just glide effortlessly through the various stages and make it to home base with out a doubt. Others take the alternate route and discover different paths along the way, turn back for a little and discover another path and again find that it's not for them and then start to searching for a specific path that is better suited to what, based on what they have already found and have or haven't liked. Once you have found something that holds your interest it's like opening a can of worms... If only we were handed a GPS at school, or born with built in navigational chip perhaps this life would be easier...

Easier is none the wiser unfortunately. If we were handed life on a silver platter this existence would be absent. No point, no purpose, no fun!

Today was a little turning point for me in the ashram today. After much resistance and let loose ego, I came to a halt! A standstill!! 

Tears... Only a few, but needed to speak to swami... A monk. Immediately. To ask some questions... I know that no one can give you the answer but it's interesting to hear some likelihoods or another perception especially after one months observation.

I'm not sure where I'm going, I know where I do want to go but I think i have allot of cleaning up to do still. I'm not broken, dirty or in for repairs but I do need a tune up, and possibly an upgrade. This 'old' mentality that I still wear is getting 'ratty' and I need to change it. self defeating behaviors are totally 'old skool' and it's time to own my shit (feelings) and Saying I do when really I don't know the meaning behind these feelings and behaviors is... actually daunting and whole other board game.... What happened to scrabble?