the past...the present...the future

So weird. One of me and my ex's, if I can even call her that spoke last night on Skype about what happened to us. It was about 3 and half years ago, we have always stayed in touch, had visits, sent texts, but not to the extent of the conversation last night....and for the first time ever, I would actually consider going back to someone. I'm all about evolution, progression, moving on...But in justification of my morals and values it was not a genuine relationship as we were both cheating. We were both in shitty relationships at the time. Though technically, my previous relationship had ended when I moved back from London, but we just antagonised each other for a year after it ended. So when this was going on, I was in a fucked up position of being in love with the past and being tempted by the future. In neither was I present...except perhaps in the bedroom. Anyways, I am the one that ended up being the total ass hole that made things crash and burn. Why? because I was weak, afraid and lazy to leave. I would use names, but to protect the identity of victims I will have to leave them out. hahahha sounds serious. But boy o boy at the time, what a mess.

Time has allowed healing, and even brought a new life into the equation. That is, she has had a baby since then and her life has changed and so has mine. Now...we started communicating at that level again and its back to how it was. Except...we are not in the same country and if we were we wouldn't be in the same state and if we were, life is different.

The past, messy and painful...The present...feels like the past never happened especially when we speak, The future...I don't write about because that would create an expectation and I don't have those anymore. I live right here in the present.

This is about all I am going to say because I'm just going to let it unfold and stay true to my journey and keep paying attention to all the beauty and amazing stuff going on in my life.