The Unexpected...

I wrote a post once called expect the unexpected and once again this little pearl of wisdom continues to fulfill its legacy via the 'element of surprise'. 

Life without expectations is a far more interesting way to live life and take it as it comes...

Something happened this week that is even greater and wilder than any fantasy I could conjure up in my mind. But for the sake of the internet I will not turn the blog into erotica...though I should, could, and would very much love to...I must state 'that a lady never tells'. But I am not really a lady....LOL 

But this I can say, Lady - I am intrigued, captivated, curious and still in a mild state of shock...

Train blogging

So just wanting to write my first blog via the blogger iphone app. Sitting on a train going to visit my dream lover!! Nah... But I really am :)

Anyways, still feeling great to be in Sydney, but had a moment today where the thought of actually looking for a job seems daunting.

PT - to do the training thing and be based in a gym actually makes me feel a lil ill to the stomach. They all want a one year commitment and Jesus Christ I'm the commit-o-phob from all hell. Nothing like sheer commitment to make a girl question her motives.

Whatever Work - the thought of whatever work actually sounds the most appealing because I can do casual and try and do some PT as well.

So many options but not feeling like i wanna do anything other than train my ass off right now! Literally :-/

I know whats supposed to happen will happen and will happen is supposed to happen but the more i am here the more i wanna do and its just a question of what i want to do.

Fuck me, I'm talking in circles!

Home is where the heart is...

After almost a week at home I am feeling normalised, acclimatised and almost revitalised. I haven't caught up with too many peeps just as yet as I am really just trying to settle and find what feels right...

Home is always a good place to start...

I'm not sure what is to happen on the career front as I am torn once again between the idea of more travel and to study...my nerdy secret passion...information, knowledge and answers.

Here is the gist...

Why Travel?
Because I am young, no attachments, no children...pure and unadulterated freedom at my finger tips to do as I wish, how wish and when I wish...the gift of life really. I have two more continents that I just want to touch before I settle. I mean 100's of countries but I know and accept that you can't do it all in once life time...but you sure as hell can try!

Why Study?
Because I am the seeker of answers, the seeker of truth. My legislated destiny...to impart the knowledge upon others??? maybe! maybe not! But by studying Chinese Medicine I feel it will be the wrapping paper to the collection of knowledge I have accumulated, learned and experienced on this surreal experience of life!

Love...
It seems that I had allot of this ingredient early on in life; I was in and out of love like the weather. I got hurt, I hurt others, I let go, I moved on and since then and I have not been able to find someone worthy. A few candidates have appeared here and there and do hit the nail on the head but for whatever reason the cosmos and I are not vibrating on the same frequency to send me someone of the a similar capacity, consciousness or life level. While it is not an active search, I feel that if the part of me that wants to travel is greater than the part that wants to study I will always attract fly by relationships that are fulfilling in the present but not forever enduring. While being present and living moment to moment is nice...Love is also about being able to share your heart and mind with someone that continues to pursue their own dreams and life. I guess my fludity when it comes to life and love is not something that can be had by all. While I want the deep connection I still want the freedom...WOW! I sound bipolar at times...but answer me this...Is this a case of the chicken and the egg? or the rock and the hard place?

Anways...off to catch up with my boys and have some fun in Pyrmont. I love you Sydney, you always re-ground me! Give me 3 months and I know you will drive me up the wall.

One more sleep...

hahaha like a little kid at christmas, I'm actually counting down the days till I get back home. The part of anticipation and excitement far out weighs the side of OMG living at at home with my parents...eeek!

Today, just saying a few goodbyes, enjoying the bugalow view as much as I can and then last but not least magically packing my possessions into a 20kg backpack.

I'm sure gonna miss this view from my bungalow! :(

Next time I write...no doubt I will be in Sydney...Much love Thailand xo

OH YEAH AND TODAY IS MY MUMS BIRTHDAY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST WOMEN :) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH XO

Only 2 more nights

The time has come...only 2 more nights left in my secluded little bungalow on the edge of Koh Phangan. I am filled with excitement to return home but also a sense of non-excitement regarding the lack of movement since my trip to the Philippines.

Nevertheless some exciting times lay ahead and a part of me totally thinks that being back in the city for a bit with familiar surroundings will give me MORE drive than I already have and conquer more dreams and aspirations.

If I look back over the past 11 months, I think all in all I have 'done good'...if anything, I certainly learnt alot about myself. Probably more than I knew I could know. But before I set off on the next big adventure early next year I must check-in at home, reground my self and of course earn some AUDees!

Australians knocking Australians

Fact. I am Australian. Fact. My mother is Filipino and my father is Australian. Fact. I was born and raised in Australia. Fact. I am Australian by nature. 

Now that this is clear, I will continue to write while feeling a little irritated by an Australian I just met. A pure thorough-bread 29 year old male I just met also living here in Thailand, proclaiming that Australians are not as "knowledgeable" as Europeans.

Ummmmmm

I actually had to leave the conversation because sometimes, thankfully more not than often (yes the right way around) you have to be able to walk away or sit quiet in conversations that you know you will not be understood if you were to express your mind fully. Perhaps I should of stood up to defend Australia, but I was not going to enter into a one sided discussion with someone that even thought that. I give you cred my friend for making a big dumb ass statement in front of another Aussie.

It certainly was a big bold statement made by the handicapped inexperienced and naive individual...

Australia is allot of things but Australians are also not allot of things, and one of those is not the aforementioned "un-knowledgeable". 

To blatantly say that we are under educated is a matter of personal experience and a path we are either on or not. Totally subjective! Clearly in writing this a) you hit a nerve and b) I consider myself to be a self educated (opinionated) intellect with the ability to chose and make decisions based upon 'me' and my capacity to live with an open mind not the by the syllabus of our educational infrastructure. (If you know me and this blog, I need explain no more).

While our country is young and not as rich in historical culture and traditions as our worldly counterparts like 'Europe' you mentioned...or if we have a shaky perhaps slightly bisexual government...(that doesn't know if its coming or going) this is irrelevant (your honour) altogether in discussing the knowledge of us (Australia) as a Whole. Because who we are as people is not only based upon our nationality...

I do not feel like writing further about this, because I feel that it is common sense and bloomin! obvious...to know that despite race, colour or gender we all seek the same basic needs and purpose in life. 

The flavours of our journey is only tainted slightly by these variables but they need not be at the core of who we are as a nation. 

This simple-ton statement is a reflection of who you are BUDDY and where your at as a person, I do not blame you for this because you are the uneducated Australian MATE!! Unfortunate for you but speak for yourself...

Island Bum

My last two weeks here in Koh Phangan involve and require very little, physically and mentally. So the big aspiration here for the next 7days before the anticipated return to the land down under is to be an Island Bum!!! Oh How will I survive?

 

Since March this year (2012) (when i moved from Pai to Chaing Mai) i have been having very little personal fun by way of the usual Liz adventures... While it may seem being in Thailand is a permanent holiday...having been here for almost 9 months now, Yes it can be... But  having lived it i would now say that it is more the quality of life you can have here on q western income. To be living here through the high and low seasons and earning Thai Baht is seriously a joke in my line of work anyway.

So continue on the topic of island bum... My last two weeks here in Koh Phangan are totally and entirely dedicated to me and the doing of "nothing". How wonderful!!! Hehehhe

Though, when i say nothing... I have just complete a 2 hour trek in 3 hours. Now i can officially say i was "LOST" in the jungle on an island!! Yep, just like the series. But nevertheless we made it and are stuffing our face with yummy food from Bamboo huts in Had Yuan overlooking probably the most stunning beach on this island!

Now all left to is to siesta, swim and take a quick trip on a Thai long boat back to Haad Rin and then do "nothing"....

it happened like 'this' for a reason

Sometimes it is not obvious how or why things happen the way do. But when you learn the truth, often what you want is no longer available or is simply eliminated from the list due to the fulfillment of the unexpected. You observe the resistance inside and are rudely shocked by how little you felt by the previous desire or longing for something that was or that could be. 

It is almost laughable sometimes that what you knew subconsciously all along is often the result in the end anyway. You wonder what all the excitement and anxiety was about in the first place??? Most often it is linked to an unrealistic desire or to fulfill a conditioned expectation of what you think you need in order to fulfill a void with in. Shocking!

So when the turn of events, turns...it is vital to remember that it happened this way for a reason and probably for the best reason...the reason does not have to be labelled, identified or felt...silent observation and acceptance is usually enough.

Silly Expectations

Expectations of what you cannot control really are a waste of time and a perfect way to mess up your flow... it can cause a temporary relief of excitement or nervousness but in the end fate has already decided its course. 

Over time the only thing that you learn that you can control is how you handle and manage your emotions and of course your perspective on life.

So the advice is, live without expectations and simply be at peace with how life unfolds...

Think and Grow Rich

I have known about this book since I was about 17, but like most things you discover early on in life you don't think it would be a book that serves you or serves a higher purpose. A good friend of mine at the time, Kane Wilson, even highly recommended it. But I guess I just never got around to reading it. 

Since being on this journey I have rediscovered or come across things that I have meant to get around to doing or reading while having the time and of course being more conscious to these recurring incidences.

Think and Grow Rich has finally come back into my life and this time I am reading it. What a powerful forward thinking book of knowledge. To think that this book was first published in 1937 and has since sold over 15 million copies says allot about the power of this book.

It seems that much theory and philosophy written in the last century surrounding the power of thoughts and manifestation have come from this book. It is the "ridgy didge" or the real deal if you will.

The 13 steps to creating abundance in your mind and your life. While much of the book talks about the attitude and mindset to creating wealth through changing your thoughts, you can see how you could apply to this any goal or objective you set your mind to and in helping you achieve your life purpose.

As I am (in my mind anyways) a hard core meditator I would say that combining the power of stillness with the power of concentration you will easily see and feel the difference in your day to day life when being true to this practice.

For the practice you are to hold a thought or a clear statement of 'definitive purpose and desire' in your mind and recite this twice a day every day for 10-30 minutes. 

The result???

The only option left for the sub-conscious then is to believe the programming that you are consciously submitting to it with concentration and focus every day twice a day...simple!