Follow
your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they
were going to be.
~ Joseph Cambell
We can all be a little gun
hoe at times, pushing, pursuing, striving and reaching to get to our
destination. Well as the old ‘us’ should right?, that’s how we achieved
everything thus far. Then comes a fork in the road, a challenge so great, so
unfamiliar that we have to call in the ‘big guns’. (The big guns refer to an
intense experience that requires conscious attention and awareness).
Where on earth do I find
something greater than what I am?
Then you finally reach a point where you realise that weapons of mass
destruction, fuelled anger, impatience, violence, low self worth, past
conditioning are no longer a viable substitute for the journey ahead.
Like a battle at war, it’s
scary, it instills fear, you feel weak, vulnerable and undeniably clueless of
your next step. You may as well put away the guns, for you will fight a losing
battle and here they are a worthless resistance on this path to self-love and
acceptance.
The fork in road represents
that point in your life you no longer understand what you are doing or why you
are doing it. Life is asking you to stop and check in. It is not necessarily a derailment it is simply a time of reflection, a time to tune into your
infinite frequency of truth and inner wisdom.
Allowing your life to unfold
is really about taking a step back at points you feel this resistance. Pushing
and frustration do not apply here. It is the time to be still, to observe, to
be free from judgement and surrender to what is. The true answer will only
present at this time.
When you are no longer
guided by your essence the universe has a funny way of showing us. I know of so
many people that have stumbled across this fork and had a complete, lets say
‘crisis’, before they made the career shift into passion and have now set off
in a direction they did not even dream of.
Sometimes it takes us a
while to realise we had even checked out. We go through the motions to get us
from A – B. Often doing things we think we should be doing in order to fulfil
an expectation set for us or set by ourselves but having lost the initial
purpose. Often in those moments I would find myself asking, “what am I doing,
How did this happen? How did I get here? Why am I doing this again?”
Its at those points we need
to ask ourselves the question, what do I really want to be doing? How do I want
to spend my days? What drives me? What puts me in my flow, where time
disappears and 5 minutes feels like an hour? What is my essence, what feels
right in my body when I ask it these questions?
Unfortunately, no one has
the answer. Only stillness and silence can provide the space, but it is with
practice and subtlety that we acknowledge what feels right in our body and
being present to what is to unfold.
I write to you of this
because this is my experience. I am a 32-year-old personal trainer who has
trained to push hard, battle, and leap over obstacles and run away when I don’t
understand or don’t like something. But by nature I am a traveller, an
adventurer, the seeker of truth.
So having realised this at the ripe old age of 32 my path has brought me
to Thailand to explore this inner wisdom and find my truth.
In the midst of setting up
and delivering what I ‘thought’ to be “the services I offered”, wellness and
holistic lifestyle coaching. I stumble across a gigantic fork, perhaps my ego or perhaps the confrontation
of its destruction. Which ever, I now know and can better distinguish that
the resistance I felt was the true ‘me’ speaking up. It is finally being heard,
being felt and it now wants to guide me.
Typically I freak out, I’m
not sure I like what it means, “letting go” and surrendering to what is. But am
I ready?
I say No, but the universe
clearly says yes. So I lock my self in my apartment for 4 days in a one to one
battle with my mind. Crying, struggling, feeling lonely, resisting the shift,
moving in and out of stillness, entertaining the steady stream of purging
emotions; fear, anger, giving up and just wanting to go home. Feeling totally
lost and frustrated! After 3 days, I am exhausted.
I had no choice but to surrender in stillness. It
would have been about 3-4 hours of meditation and breathing that on that
Saturday afternoon I was able to tune in and be guided to the answer that felt
right in my body.
This experience truly felt
that is was the battle of my unconsciousness,
intuition and inner wisdom. Finally coming head to head with where the universe
dissolves in to my being. All I had to do here was nothing, just be still,
feel, listen.
It is at this meeting point
that I realised I could no longer run, no longer keep doing things
unconsciously as the universe would of kept finding me and challenging my
purpose until I really understood how and why.
Am I sure this is my essence?
The universe has
communicated to me by depleting my bank account and leaving me in what us
western folk would call, ‘high and dry’.
I am totally high on life (especially having felt and understood my
purpose), but I am also almost broke.
But the key appears…here is why.
Now I only work from that
place inside that feels right, I attract and draw people that are of a similar
nature and path. While I want to share my work in the mainstream as it could
serve so many others, perhaps they are not ready. It is not to say that this
work is exclusive, but in a way it is. You have to be willing to do the work,
and ready to discover what is waiting.
Watching life unfold is enchanting and humorous,
when we think we are entering one door, it often slams shut, leaving us no
choice to be present to the next one that opens. There is always another door
if you are conscious to it, but to decide which one we go through is perhaps
not really up to us.
This is where stillness, non-doing and complete surrender become our
guide. Moving us through the door that takes us to our higher purpose.
Now that I have accepted this process, I feel a connection to the
universe. Work is simply appearing and the really funny thing
about it is, that they are clients and projects that I want to work on. Unlike
the past I am not taking on projects or clients because I need money, as I know
in the long run this becomes draining. Financial abundance and true freedom
comes when you work in alignment to who you are.
6 Steps to realign with your inner wisdom :
If you are at a cross-roads
or a point in your life where you feel your direction is unknown.
·
Take a step back or some time off work to have
some time with your self
·
Stay calm, be still and be with your self, it
is part of a greater process
·
Use breath work and meditation
·
Check in with your body and ask questions…see
what feels right
·
You have all the answers with in, you just have
to tune and trust your inner guru. Only you know what is best for you.
·
So be still and cultivate inner awareness
