fading

the memory of you fades and my hearts fire starts simmer... sadness wells in the eyes and the enduring pain the lingers... to miss you and to know that this hurts so much. everyday life feels different with out u. it hurts that you are becoming a memory... someone i once was someone who i was lnce with the people we were when we were together. good or bad for each other it just feels so remote, isolating and lonely. its almost like i dont want want to let go of the feelings we once had even knowing how destructive they were... for both us. i miss you boobie! i miss you allot. i remember your face so clearly and the way you felt to wake up next to and kiss goodbye i  the morning. somedays are easy really easy are some days i feel i cant think else. its always so suprising... to have these feelings hit me so strong and I crumble tempted to call and fall back into that bad pattern just to feel soothed and comfort of your embrace. 

Day 9

#30mins300days

sunday yoga self practice, theta meditation workshop in annandale, yin yoga with mel

crazy things we do to heal

im heading to new york in august for a couple of weeks of nothing and to do some yoga studio research catch up with a mate or two but mostly to find my independance again. i know i will be ok because i have made it thru this type of thing before.... this being a relationship that had most of the right ingredients that was possible that was tainted with mistrust... but purely the experience of being with a person who wont own their own behaviour... i stayed for so long because i thought it was me that also needed to change. maybe in bit i did but not to the degree that our whole relationship demanded.