perplex : perspex : perspective

per-plex: (of something complicated or unaccountable) Cause (someone) to feel completely baffled.
perspex: Solid transparent plastic
perspective: A mental view or outlook

Being 31 is a really weird age, for me anyway, and for many more out there I am sure. It seems that changing career paths here is common place. We have been working for almost 10-12 years now, a bit of travel here and there, explored some of the world, settled a little, know our selves better, know whats out there and what is possible. So we crave more, we want more, we strive for more, we begin to feel unsettled. We decide to change things, to break routine, to up heave any sort of stability and move in a different direction.

I’m sure there are some out there, whereby change freaks them out, makes them uneasy, scared, uncertain. But for me, I love all these qualities in change. I embrace it in fact. I’m like tactical response. But being reactive is different from being in control and being proactive as to the direction or the strategy you will follow to stage your life. In saying that, I also like to go with the flow. But going with the flow is difficult if you are adverse to change. Being able to respond and re-direct your life is a skill learned through experience and the ability to be open to life’s mysteries. Not knowing the potential outcome and being able to adapt readily is something that is acquired only when we have learnt from life’s lessons and are able to live by our own morals and values.

For me, being compassionate, loving, open and honest are some of the key values to being a good human being. For others, status, wealth, cars, houses and money may be of virtue. But stripping all of this away, our essence, our core none of this is necessary for our happiness.
What boggles my mind, every time I stress out about something silly is coming back to a neutral space and how in the grand scheme of things (world poverty, starving children, war) our core values are moving further and further away from Maslows Heirarchy of Needs!

Our stresses are created by us. The drive to WANT more, to BE more, to DO more.

Don’t get me wrong. I know we are from cities whereby our hierarchy of needs are different to that of a caveman. But it is so easy to get lost and caught up in “the rat race” that we no longer know what we want. We lose touch of what it is that drives us. There is going with the flow of life and going with the “flow” of life. By this I mean, to go with the flow of the mundane, routine, snakes and ladders. Or the “flow” of knowing what drives, keeps you passionate, stimulated and expressive to your essence.

I only realised this now...in 2011 after meeting a great girl. She is younger than me yet offered me loads of wisdom by being a direct reflection of me and what I needed to learn at this stage of my life. She and I are now apart as she is off pursuing her dream and career. ☺ …and now my path has changed and blocks in my mind have also being removed.

Since my return from London in 2007 I have really felt stuck. I have been in relationships with great girls that sooner rather than later come to an end because of them, traveling and doing what they want to do. I am not bitter about this, as now I can see that the message here was for me to get unstuck and do my own thing regardless of what anyone else is doing.
In retrospect as short and as sweet as these relationships were, each taught me something slightly different about Liz Smiz. But it really was the last love that was the straw that broke (lets say stroked) the camels back and propelled me into action. For that baby, I thank you.
More on this….

YO.ga

Yoga really is the love of my life. Why, because it is for me and right now I am for me. I have made decisions in the past based on love and the feeling at the time without thinking about what it is I truly want and need. I have always been told that I am open, wear my heart on my sleeve and have allot of love to give. Though this love and openness is not the same love and openness to myself. Its taken me almost 32 years to realise that (or 10 adult years).

So making this decision to go off and pursue my yoga dream is not only about acquiring status and getting the 200 hour teacher training certification. It is about me doing what I do best! That is adventure, change, adapting in uncertain situations, exploring my creative side and the most exciting of all, meeting new people and hearing their story. So though yoga and meditation is the focus of the trip, Its going to be the self exploration along the way that will be the highlights of my journey.

For the most part I say now I know who I am, what I like, what I dislike, but what I am struggling with is finding balance. That is, what makes me launch my self with bountiful energy out of bed every morning. Sure yoga does this as does traveling, but I think I am searching for the creative space in my head to find a way to tie all of these things together to create something to share with others.

To find this here in the city I am from, would only be half arsed attempt, here is why. Australia is a small continent with a young history, we are located at the end of the earth (though I'm happy with the hemisphere) and we are influenced by other cultures and lets face it, what form of movement originates here and is of spiritual decent.

Origins of cutting edge concepts or spiritual practices go back ions, like yoga in India, Tai Chi in China and Taiwan, Akido in Japan, Capoiera in Brazil... I'm pretty sure most of this happened before James Cook bumped into us. No disrespect Oz. You are my heart! In saying this, I am not saying that we as Aussies do not offer creative, innovative ideas and practices. We most definitely do. But traveling the world and experiencing other cultures and disciplines is so much more interesting than staying still...

I have to go to yoga...Namaste

~ SoRt IT ouT :-/ ~

Now that I have made the decision and commitment to change direction in my life and pursue my dream of doing my yoga teacher training and traveling. It seems, that as life naturally does, obstacles appear. In my case, this means lack of organisation and leaving things to way side or dusting under the carpet, or just being plain old forgetful. Seems to catch up with us in the end. Old debt, new debt, outstanding debt. All falls due today. End of financial year! yep.... EOFY!

Obviously these outgoings, do not support my endeavour to save save save. But as I do not know what is to become of the next six months, I have to cop all of this on the chin and make the debt repayments so that I can have a clear conscience while I am away and not worry about what it is I am to come back to upon my return??.

My iphone, also decided to die yesterday. Which sux, but I suppose it is better to die now than to die while I am traveling. My laptop is also a little sick, but I am just gonna have to deal with it too. grrrr.

Obstacles are character building. My lesson here, is to face things head on as and when they arise. Being pro active rather than reactive to forseen negative repercussion. Its not like I didnt know that if I didnt pay my tax bill that an organisation like the ATO would not charge interest. Duh! But as I was not earning enough money 2 months ago, I left this for 12 months and now....well now I have to pay it! as well as lodge 2009, 2010 and 2011! Yep...its all fun and games right now.

Anyways, yoga my one true love is on this morning and I will go there and silence the mind, even if for 90 mins. Its the best 90 minutes of my day! This WILL sort it out :)