isn't it funny...

Had a good ol' conversation today with a friend that's about 10-12 years younger than me. Some days when my head space is alternative (shit mood) I often wish I didn't feel a certain way and could just detach, suck it up, let go and move on. So while providing a friendly ear and some elderly advice :) I realised for my self, that some...actually all of the time we have to learn for ourselves when it comes to matters of the heart. But its interesting how often as human beings we instinctively seek the acceptance and validation from others before ourselves. We want to love others before we love ourselves, we want to nurture and care for others before we care for ourselves.

But, its not until we get to a certain point in our life, usually older and wiser or major pain and / or heart brake or other major changes that we realise this life is for us. To discover like a heat seeking missile what makes us tick, get up and out of bed every morning and move toward our target, our happiness, our true self. If we choose to worry about what others think and expect from us, we simply create our own anxiety and stress and continue to question our own identity and therefore confidence.

Intuitively we know what we want, but how we get there and the situations that arise along the way that challenge our determination to get there is what tests us and strengthens us.

The question for me now, is if everything happened so effortlessly would I be stimulated? would this mean that this is the right path because nothing is getting in my way?....or.....do situations and challenges arise because they want to test us to see if we are worthy, do we want it bad enough to make the cut, our the obstacles actually road blocks telling us we hit a dead end and to take another route.

For me, I think its a little bit of both and in the end if we go with the flow of life and listen for major cues, instinctively and intuitively we go toward our happiness. Sometimes we take many wrong turns before we find the right way. I'm never discouraged by mistakes as long as the next time around I do something differently to produce a different outcome. Even if, these mistakes feel right for a period of time, I never regret them. Though what I do regret is getting my self into a "Tizzy Lizzy" about it before seeing the value in the lesson in front of me. So, how I live my life now, is allot different from the Liz Smiz 12 years ago (thank god) I Do things for me, that make me feel good, that make me smile.