it's prOPer LonDon...iNNit, know what i mean yeh!!

Minus a slightly hectic tube ride, I Love it here. As soon as I stepped off the tube at Covent Garden it felt like I had never left. Even when I went to top up my oyster card, it had an old weekly travel card on it from 2007. The last time I was here.

I met my friend Cam at Jamie Olivers Italian restaurant. The food of course sensational and amazing. Not just sensational, but also amazing!!

It occurred to me here while I was stuffing my face that when my friends at home were saying "ah, so... your doing eat pray love?" and I'm like "ahhh no! give me some cred! I'm slightly more creative than that. But essentially "YES" (god damn it) except, Elizabeth Gilbert (author) doesn't go and trek the Himalayas or do Muay Thai in Thailand now does she? So while it may sound EPL while I am here in London indulging a little and a allot, after India I will be directing my own little movie! Called Eat organic, Drink vino, Stretch lots and Kick ass! hehehehe. Not that I'm justifying it or anything but just so we're clear!... 

...so it begins...

21 hours and spinal cord injury later...I'm safe in London. I really would have loved to have started my first blog in 3 weeks using the word epic. It would of went something like..."wow, what an epic 21 hour journey...Sydney to London". Sounds good right? but unfortunately, the truth of it is, that it all went pretty smoothly in terms of logistics and people transportation by the masses. 

Though because I like to have a good bitch and moan and lets face it there are so many little quirks when traveling that grate us.

5 things that come to my mind on (super) long haul journeys is;

1. DVT. Will I get 'deep vein thrombosis' if I don't get up and stretch and do 10 reps x 90 sets of calf raises and ankle mobility? So I always book an isle seat so that I can stand up at least 9 times per hour to get up out of my seat and do my DVT prevention exercises.

2. Food. Now surely in this day and age in which we can check in on line, choose our seats etc. we should be able to choose our food and special requirements online if one fails to be so organised in advance. Here are the reason(s) one must always organise special case meals...you meal comes first! That's pretty much it really. It doesn't taste better than "normal" food, though come to think of it, in the past when I have ordered vegetarian, I find that I have less cabin pressure.

3. Cabin Pressure. The reason I also recommend special meals is that, it seems that by eating the same meal as the vast majority, one can develop allot of gas in their intestines. Yes, intestinal pressure. But the interesting chemistry about this is that when at altitude this gas does not have an odour when being released from the sphincter.

4. Children. (a.k.a. noise making creatures) Though there is nothing I can do about this, being on a flight and seeing folk with their off spring, babies (crying) toddlers (fidgeting, playing and constantly walking up and down the isle) it is always a nice little reminder to know why I am not ready for them, if at all. In other words...shut them up!!

5. Sit upright. I have finally learnt after many years of travel in 'cattle class' is that the only way to prevent spine and neck injury is to sit up right. I used to sit, spread, lean, wedge, manouvre, balance, contort and try all sorts of positions to now only realise at the ripe age of 32 that a seat is to be sat on.

follow UR nOse...

Organic Fruit Loops

Following your heart and pursuing your dreams is the cliché that we all aspire to. The difference is that if you are a ‘passionate’, a person that is guided by what feels good at the time or goes with the flow versus conforming to what is considered conventional. I’m not saying that you cant have a 9-5 gig and therefore are not passionate about it or some other hobby, this is very far from the truth. But what is conventional these days anyways?

I speak for me (of course) when I say this. But there is no way in hell I could lead a conventional lifestyle of routine and mundanity (if there is such a word?, and if there isn't, then now there is! trademark it!). I need allot of time to my self to rejuvenate, allow my head to breathe and offer energy to those I work with and people that are important to me, the best of me. A little ridiculous huh!

What I have learnt about my self through the years and recently accepted is that I am a fruit loop. A healthy one made of home grown organic vegetables with no artificial colours or flavours. I need constant stimulation, variety, fresh minds, new connections, long standing connections and friendships, rejuvenation, space to be creative, nature, nature, nature and silence.

ps. if you remember the fruit loops ad on Australian TV in the 80's and 90's, the Toucan Sam followed his nose and found fruit loops.

So when I woke up this morning and realised I had only 17 days to go, I was a little spooked about my journey that I am about to embark upon. Not because I am afraid of a squillion Indians wanting to share the same cubic inch as me, or that Everest is too high, but because the (small) part of me that wants to return sooner to get things up and running in terms of my business is rapidly getting more minute by the day. The larger part of me, the bird, the nomad, the cameleon that thrives on change and adaptation is prepared to set off for quite some time. Perhaps 4-6 months. I know I just have to wait and see, but in my mind I kind of want to frame it so that I can mentally prepare. The little voices are saying "See where things go and see where things end up", another voice says "things at home will always be there" another says "keep the connections you have" its kinda noisy in there, so I just breathe and remember that as long as I am being true to me at each point in my mind along the way, then that's all there is.

...the straw that broke the camels back...

Charles Dickens said "As the last straw breaks the laden camel's back", meaning that there is a limit to everyone's endurance, or everyone has his breaking point.

If I could say to you what I was really thinking, it would go something like…

Get your shit together. Enough is enough. How much longer are you going to feel sorry for yourself before you let go of what was and acknowledge what is. I will not repeat myself over and over and keep telling you what I think you are, because if you don’t already know your self then no one can tell you. I am a person that cares for you and wants to see you happy, but I can’t make you happy.

Seeing you like this is a little scary for me as I am afraid that I don’t know how to deal with you. I am honest when I say, that I feel that I am not equipped. Energetically this is very draining because I am in a totally different space. I am excited, full of beans ready to set off and pursue my dreams which has taken me some time to get round to. 

We all get stuck in a moment and feel that we can’t get out. But part of human nature is our ability to recognise these struggles at different points in time and develop the courage to move towards happiness.

Another thing I have learnt, which maybe stating the obvious is that you cannot seek happiness externally. By this I mean, caring what people think. Acting and behaving in such away in order to achieve an expected out come will almost always return a negative out come. To be internally and therefore eternally happy we must be satisfied with what and who we are, accepting what is rather than expecting what may be. So by reinforcing the negative, you are projecting to the universe that you are not worthy of happiness, therefore your return on investment is negative. If you want a good investment, you have to invest authentic love and energy into ‘you’ and until you do so you will always be gambling in a bear market; unstable, uncertain, minimal returns!

permeabLe BubBLe

Liz Smiz

I love that we never stop learning, changing and evolving. Well by choice this is! Whats really interesting, if you take the time to stop and have a "squiz", a little "looksie wooksie" if you will. To check in once in a while and observe the distance you have come. 

I was discussing with a friend today past situations that cause us pain and how at the time when they are happening and when we are so deep in it that we do not realise that these are lessons waiting to be realised. We know better deep down, but forget almost every time. So again the story goes like a pantomime,  to determine our credibility and hence worthiness to grow from these "lessons" it seems, lessons like to play fancy dress and camoflage themselves as pain, hurt, struggle, tears, and frustration only for us to later realise that this is a character building exercise for the mental elite. We must at various points in our life go through SHIT to guide us closer to our higher purpose. We are all here for a purpose and what that purpose is, is our own journey. To be created, coloured and decorated any way we like, our own huge piece of blank canvas.

As we learn, change and evolve the journey can catapult us in a totally different direction, often times we find our selves caught up in something and think holy cannoli, how did I get here?, or why is this happening to me?. 

We can often get stuck in a web of destructive thoughts that send us in to a downward spiralling vortex where by patience, self awareness and self acceptance, are the staple ingredients to understanding that we are only presented with each challenge when and only when we are ready to learn. Failing to realise this and choosing to wear the "I’m a victim" attitude t-shirt can't, won't and doesn't fly. It will only leave us feeling low, defeated, anxious, possibly depressive and soon enough faced with a similar situation yet again. So yes, discovering your purpose and over coming challenges can be difficult. But it is this in itself that is the essence to our self discovery. In other words, if life was a glorious bed of petunias, water Lily's and lotus flowers as lovely as it would look, it might become a little hard to maintain throughout the seasons. Its much more interesting to encounter challenges (grow other flowers) and know that no matter what you will make it out the other side. Having said that, it is also about training the mind and trusting that you are fully equipped with weapons and devices to do what’s right for you…and if you make an error i.e feel hurt, hurt someone else or do not achieve the desired outcome then it is up to you what you take from that lesson.

I know that this is easier said than done. Believe you, me, If anyone is, I am the master of $#@% ups and complicated situations, then I'm your girl. I often (always) act on impulse, and go with the flow (such is life) and wear my heart on my sleeve to my own benefit and detriment at the same time. 

When I reflect upon the last 2 years I feel as if I have been in intensive, rigorous resilience training and all of a sudden I am a conditioned mental athlete, agile, open minded and resilient and much lighter on life. 

If I was an object or could be the creator of an object I would be a translucent permeable bubble, indestructable like titanium (strong), light hearted, filled with helium (love) and my personal mantra is "what you see is what you get".

I've got it bad...

Ive got it bad. Desiring the unobtainable. Well not completely the unobtainable, but a good mental challenge. She is holding my attention, when ordinarily this is difficult to do. How do I ignore it when I so clearly want it and thus far the she has met me half way. The whole relationship thing is obviously the biggest challenge. Emotionally I want to just switch off and just hang with a friend, but it is not that easy when you get the signals. She is pure in her thoughts so I don’t think that she would cheat on her boy friend. But its the 'egoic' part of me that thinks she wants this just as much.

To be honest its starting to really do my head in that I am this attracted mentally and physically to someone again so soon. After one love leaving, having a mini affair with a close friend and now falling for someone so quickly 20 days before I leave, not cool. 

IF YOU READ THIS, YOU 'SHOULD' KNOW WHO YOU ARE! - tounge poke to you!

life is good

Being able to say that confidently and genuinely has taken some time. Pretty much 31, almost 32 years. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had a considerably easy life compared to those that grow up in war zones and complete poverty. But as a western woman born in a land of opportunity we sometimes forget how easy we do have it and how easy it is to create the life of our wildest dreams. The difference for us is that with all this opportunity, choice, status quo, competition, changes in communication, the ability to communicate more, learn more, do more. We also want more. Often failing to recognise and appreciate where we are and what we currently have.

For moi, the last 4 months has been about paying off debt, saving and staying focused on a particular goal. So less going out, less socialising, less spending on clothes and other consumables :). 

In doing this I have learnt to appreciate so much more. I blog often (free) allows me to empty my 'tangental' head. Meaning, I often speak at tangents when I tell a story. I move more (free) doesn't cost me a cent to run, do yoga, skip or swing kettle bells and club bells. Energy doesn't count as spending. Catching up with friends (free) having a coffee, going for a walk or having a mate over for a BBQ. 2 birds, one stone. Food and conversation. Yew!

Also, the biggest thing that gets your through, is of course achieving the end goal. In my case, 4 or so months overseas. Now I am on the home stretch. 25 days to go. Today is the first day of spring too, which brings with it allot more motivation.

The other funny thing that happens when your in a happy space is what you attract to your life. Now that I am leaving allot of opportunities seem to arise, awesome people come into your life, you attract new clients, you eat better, look better, feel better. I guess this is two fold. You attract what you send out. 92% of me is trying to stay, calm, focused and present, 6% of me is at Sydney International Terminal, 2% of me wants to seize all opportunities now. But another part of this is about exercising patience and allowing things to flow...