My head is spinning around and around and it's even actually pounding!! I'm not sure if it cigarette withdrawals, coffee withdrawals or sugar withdrawls... or perhaps the liver damaged I caused in London or maybe even my western comforts (though I have my mac book with). Knowing me, my vices and my behaviour up until yesterday, it would would probably be all of the above in equal magnitudes. Although I am here (India) by choice and for the greater good of my being. In the last 48 hours I have really struggled with finding a positive head space. I'm not sure if it's specific to me but perhaps minus chanting, I would be sweet. I just want to do yoga!! and deepen my practice!! 'says my narrow ignorant mind' while the enlightened part of me says "this is yoga". Taking all of it for what it is and embracing it, making no judgement, knowing that you can take it or leave it at the end...
.... Well fact of the matter is, I'm having trouble sitting still. Everything hurts, aches and goes numb. So I need to lay, twist, spread, stretch, and massage myself to comfort for another 20 minute meditation, in which all I spend time is blocking out 3-4 dogs barking, people coughing, sniffling and also moving restlessly...at this stage meditation to no avail... Then we chant, then my mind wonders...then I want to leave...
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