Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Shambala & Pit-ta-lew

Hippies in Thailand
I never even knew there were Japanese Hippies, until I came to Thailand. Come to think of it, I have never seen so many hippies in general. Hippies from everywhere. I have never seen so many dreadlocks EVER!

In the 2 months I have been in Pai, I have not only almost become a hippie (no labels)...hahhahah literally laughing out loud right now but I have embraced their culture and mentality for simplicity, creativity and nature. I don't and probably won't get dreads because the maintenance looks intense and I like washing my hair. I guess it has always been in their, but never something I have been able to express or live sustainably in Sydney.

Recently I have been to, 2 festivals where Japanese and Thai hippies can express themselves with art, music and handicraft. Its so awesome. It totally has expanded my mind and reinforced even more that lifes possibilities are limitless and sustainable simple living really is the future.


Some of the Art at Pit- ta-lew

The Universe

Thank you Universe
I know I bitch and moan at times, but stepping back and taking a look at the big picture...I really have nothing to complain about. (Touch wood).

Since I left Sydney in September 2011, not a whole lot has gone wrong or the optimistic way of looking at it, is to say that so many good life changing chestnuts of wisdom have come into my sphere of perception, in other words, wonderful insights into my being have happened.

I have met great people that have added value to my life and experiences whilst on the road. No obstacles or signs have appeared that tell me I am doing the wrong thing. Not once. I'm pretty sure I'm not blind and I generally have pretty good self awareness. I feel like I am in the flow of life and everything that is happening is because it is meant to. I mean, it always has been that way, but often times I forget and resist and struggle with what appears.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

just a momentary lapse

I could kick myself sometimes... especially when I forget that "Liz" head space days are easy come, easy go. I dragged my ass to Muay Thai this morning, after 3 weeks off and had the best session ever.

My attitude is a total 100% turn around.

Till next time, head space!...

Title inspired by this track...


Monday, February 20, 2012

wake up, shape up or ship out!

Literally, what the hell are you doing...Do you even know what your doing? have you lost it? are you losing it?

Pull it together, home is not an option. Nothing wrong with it, but this has been your vision for quite some time now. Enough blogging about it and lets start doing woman!

Winter Wisdom...another old draft!

Some of the words that come to mind when I think of "Winter", cold, couch, dvds, staying in, jackets, gloves, beanies, rejuvination, hibernation, rest and relax. 

As Aussies we generally tend not to like Winter because we have such fantastic summers! Personally, I like both. In preference, Summer over Winter of course. But Winter has its purpose in the cycle of change and its not only at temperature level... Having four seasons all represents something different energetically in the cycle of life, growth, development and change. I also think how boring it would be if the climate was always the same.
  • I love cloudy days that are warm and forboding. Moods changes, attitudes change...
  • then it rains, pours, buckets, making it the perfect DVD couch day without guilt...
  • to present to us a clearing of the sky, to teach us how to appreciate a perfect a bule sky...
  • if we are lucky we can get sun showers and rainbows to show us in nature what a spectrum looks like...we can create fantasy, possibilities and use our imagination to make up whats at the end of the rainbow.
  • Summer comes around with extreme temperatures, warming us and heating us and inviting us to cleanse, be active, be social, be productive, brown our skin, or catch a healthy glow. 
 I cannot imagine being in constant 35 degree heat or minus temperatures for extended periods. I lived in London for 4.5 years and knowing that it was going to be gray with drizzle every day eventually was enough. Though in saying that, Summer can last up to 2 weeks in London :) but the vibe is something else!! I think in Australia we are lucky to have such distinct variations in our climate.

Winter to me, is the time not only the time 'to rug up'...but from a business perspective; is to work hard and plant the seeds that are to be harvested in spring and summer.  This is when we conceptualise strategies and marketing, prepare flyers and build awareness for a successful Spring execution to get clients interested in our services etc. On a more physical front, this is more about maintenance and rejuvintation. Allowing the body a well earnt recovery before preparation for spring and summer. It all rolls around quickly if you aint prepared.

This whole year for me has panned out a little differently. (well that is because I had expectations of what it was going to be about). But with this attitude and perspective I quickly learnt and soon realised that expectations are a waste of time. This is not to say, do not goal set or have a vision. The difference lies in having that vision but being flexible in your approach, and factor in the unexpected that may throw you off course. But with your dream and vision in tact you will naturally progress back on track.

For me, my vision is to move differently. Creatively, with strength, flexibility and efficiency. There are many paths, systems and disciplines I could follow if I chose to. But I know me. I get bored of too much structure after a while and will start to deviate from whats acceptable and accurate to something more unothodox, akward and difficult. :) Where the success lies is taking this and refining the movement into something practical, applicable, repeatable and marketable. 

Fuck me! Im good :)! hehehhe

This year is more about realisation and rejuvination and skill acquistion. (hehhehe very business 'speak' of me). In saying that, the ideas are still flowing and being captured and translated to a roadmap ready for action and implementation at a future date.  TBA.

A soulmate


in my drafts...from yonks ago when I was dating Megan :) she defintiely taught me a thing or two about my self...

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”

forgetting to breathe

Two little  syllable sounds that I think of when I forget to breathe is the simple sound of the Mantra HAM SA The sound of the Inhale and the Exhale. 

Spiritual mumbo jumbo

Just re-read my last post. what a nutter! you would think that after a week meditating and all this spiritual mumbo jumbo that life would eventually calm down. Is that the joke? please tell me! because again today am feeling pretty blah. So much so that I am actually missing Sydney and thinking of it as an option.

It could be just a bad day or the fact that I have my period, but whatever the hell it is, I wish for it to head in the direction "off". If ya get my humor you will know where I mean. Lets just hope it is a bad day.

I miss the people in my life so much today.

Frazzled

I left home 5 months ago certain of my goals and dreams. 5 months later I'm lying on a straw mat on an open field out the front of a Japanese festival called Shambala in the middle of north Thailand. Somewhere...

Slept well, amazing Japanese muesli for breakfast now just me a cup of coffee, a cigarette and my thoughts.

I'm neither here nor there in terms of my mood... Just lots of rolling though my mind.

My health energy and usual vitality is limited... By this i mean that energetically, mentally and physically, i am feeling far from my best. I know the exact reasons why but am for some reason resisting the acceptance of where i am at. Perhaps feeling overwhelmed with what i have to achieve and have therefore not being prioritising my health. It totally can and WILL be reversed. I am the first culprit of tomorrow-i-tis but come this Monday I am back at Muay Thai for a week and going hard. I am in serious need of an organic green cleanse so i can finally do my liver and gallstone cleanse. I'm pretty sure this is what my energy filter needs... A good clean out! To press the reset button!!

Writing helps me mentally to methodically sort through my thoughts and empty the contents of my relentless brain. I'm still looking for the discipline switch in which i need to replace as its been broken for a while.

Meeting the people i have met and seeing the places i have seen only makes me more driven to change, grow and evolve. No body is going to do this for me... We have one life... Why waste it in a negative state stuck in your thoughts, drowning in emotion and practicing procrastination.

My struggle is the practice of patience, self defeating expectations and ... But I endeavour to continue on this journey and see what life brings...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Taw Wua Forest Monastery


The most peaceful place in North Thailand!

Tam Wua Forest Monastery - Vipassana Meditation

If you want some clarity, some 'mind' space, serenity and peace (inside and out) then get your self here!

There is not a whole lot on the web about it, well, nothing official anyway. There is a self made unofficial Russian website, with not allot of useful info but there are quite a few travel blogs about it.

Tam Wua 

If I wasn't so lazy I would write more about directions etc. But half the fun about traveling off the beaten track is always the "JOURNEY".

It's not in any guide book or travelers bible (thank god) because this little gem is definitely something like minded souls discover and are drawn to if that is your path.

What Happens Here:
In a nutshell...
6:45am Wake up (though you are supposed to wake up at 5am for a self meditation) But I preferred the sleeping one!
7:00am Monk Rice offering
7:15am Breakfast (vegetables, rice, rice porridge)
8:00am Walking Meditation
9:00am Sitting and Lying Meditation
10:30am Monk offering
11:00am Lunch - Always soooooo yum and hard not to over eat, as you know that you will not be eating till breakfast tomorrow morning. But there is unlimited hot chocolate, coffee and tea.
1:00-3:00pm Meditation (walking, sitting, lying)
Free Time 
4:00pm Karma Yoga - SWEEPING leaves
6:00-8:00pm Chanting (in Thai??) and Sitting Meditation
10:00pm Lights out

Its not by any means a hard schedule to follow. For me, it was just adjusting to no dinner and what felt like a day without food.

I'm not sure how it would be if you have never meditated before and there is not allot of guidance as the monk, though he speaks English, is quite random in his insights. Very cute and fun!

All in all, the experience is definitely something that I would re-live again and again.

Directions:

Depending on how you like to travel. There are a couple of ways, you could get to from CM to Pai.

Ask for the AYA bus station and Catch the 3hr bus to Pai. The bus will drop you on the main walking st at the AYA office. From the main walking st you will also find the local bus stand. You could take a local bus for 50B and just let the driver know you are going to Tam Wua. They are all pretty familiar with this. Tam Wua is about 1.5-2 hrs from Pai on the the way to Mae hon Song. When you get off the bus, you will see the monastery sign and you walk down the road for about 1.5km and there you will see the stunning monastery.

OR


you could take a cheap flight from CNX to Mae hong song and again take the local bus heading toward Pai. This bus journey is shorter.

But, if you have never been to Pai, I highly recommend it, stay at least a night and take the morning bus to Tam Wua.

I hope that makes sense.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

cakE

Chocolate Cheesecake - My Favourite.
Random Cake Facts
  • Can you believe as a young kid, I didn't eat cake!
  • Until I was 21 I never knew what having your cake and eating it too, meant?
  • I don't eat cake nearly enough. 
  • Cake makes you smile
  • Today I ate a banana cake with chocolate icing on top, yep, with thick fat scrum-didly-umptious icing on top. (Though I Forgot to take a picture)
  •  My favourite cake is most definitely a well made chocolate cheese cake with a crumbly biscuit base.

If only I could get my head right. Well its not completely wrong, but its not completely right either. At the moment, day to day is far and few between the rattling noises in my head. An idea, an emotion, a fear, a thrill, a positive surge. Its definitely never boring in here!

A few people I have met along the way on this journey have also made it clear that I am not totally insane. Well not yet anyway! What is common...is that we are all in search of something. To everyone of us, ultimate happiness means something different. To many of us, ultimate happiness is something we already have, To many others, we haven't even thought about it.

Traveling when I was younger was much different. I guess part of the reason I am still here in Thailand is that my travels when I was 23, my first time to Thailand, inspired something inside me, thats for sure. Opportunities that resonate with core beliefs, a slower pace of life (awesome!), appreciating another culture (though my Thai is shit), and of course the welcomed challenge of settling and adapting into a new way of life.

All of them are definitely my favourite ingredients;
  • Travel
  • Change
  • Adventure
  • New Experiences
  • ....the unexpected
its definitely not for everybody, and at times I wish I could eat, satisfaction, contentment, stability and certainty...but the palette, MY PALETTE is insatiable. Just like chocolate cheesecake, you can't find it everywhere. So till then, I will keep searching for the cake and when I find it, I will savour it, put it in the fridge, admire it and eat it mindfully appreciating every bite and not feel guilty about it.

Metaphorically...I will enjoy the journey.

Actually wait....the chocolate cheesecake is the journey! hmmmm fuck it! Too confusing to argue my own argument. Maybe I will just learn how to make the most amazing chocolate cheesecake. Then I'll be winning! But I kinda am winning already....fuck it! I'm not in the mood to argue.

Checking into a 10 day Vipassana tomorrow somewhere between Pai and Mae Hong Son. I will have all the time in the world to argue with me then. See ya in 10 days...

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Chiang Mai to Vientiene Visa Run

A preferable option...

Option 1.Bullet to the head...
Option 2. Mini Bus Driver on Diazepam = 11 hour journey that takes 15 hours
Option 3. Mini Bus Driver on Speed = 11 hour journey reduced to 6 hours
Option 4. Hit in the NUTS!

The pimped ride of the driver on speed!


Skype

I love you Skype!
I was going to write several blogs bitching, whinging (Which I might add is Australian for complaining incessantly) and moaning about the last 72 hours. But at the end of the day, there is no point. My life is Good! Great, Sweet!

Here I will pay tribute to social media and the world wide web in general. Specifically Skype!


I just got off 3 hours worth of much needed skype calls. The downside of traveling (besides long shitty journeys) is when you have been on the road for a while or have really close friends living on the other side of the world, SKYPE makes everything better. Call 1. Leigh. London. Broke his ankle, so is couch bound and on crutches for 6 weeks... Sucked in! from the bottom of my heart. As a typical gay boy does, tells you how it is, get your shit together, blah blah. Always a great laugh. Call 2. Mary, London. My sister from another mister. Always at the same point in our lives, both personal trainers, always working on our business, both random, scatty, passionate and full of words...love a good yarn. Call 3. Dana. Barcelona. The sexiest German / Spanish girl I know. Always calming, a great listener and always a good laugh. Haven't spoken to her in a while, so it was amazing to see her face. She reminds me of the ashram and she was my shoulder.

Last week it was Helene and Eugene. From My mother land down under and vegimite sandwiches.

Eug my life long Bestie...but also my sister from another Mister! Biggest heart I know, miss our chats so so much, much love to her always and forever.  

Helene...hmmm sexy... but how to explain this one? A new person in my life, young, sexy and beautiful. I definitely appreciate her perspective in life. She Feels like the perfect wife! playful, fun, outgoing, yet, down to earth and fiery in a passionate calm way.

Loved talking to each and everyone of these peeps, it makes them seem less far away. It also makes my head feel less noisy and congested with random thoughts that at times can overwhelm. Blogging helps, but you don't talk back like the crazy people in my life do.

So, WWW, Skype and a great wifi connection I salute you! I prostrate! I curtsy! I do the running man and even the sprinkler...

Thank you human evolution...as destructive as you can be, sometimes good shit happens!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

100 miles per hour


My Brain
Jesus Christ...my head is traveling 100 mph right now, this very second. So many blogs are about to happen tonight, right here and right now. Obviously hoping for some clarity and need an outlet immediately.

I love you blog!

1. Just got back to Pai after a torturous visa run (blog to come)
2. Tomorrow, am doing a 24 hour fast slash liver and gallstones cleanse, which means lock down in my room.
3. Heading to a monastery this weekend, to do a 10 day silent meditation (while all the while I have a squillion things whirling around in my mind) probably not practising the power of now.
4. Want my mum to come and visit me in April, but want to have an apartment and job sorted
5. My best friend from Dubai also wants to come and visit and I am dying to see her too but have so much on, but need to make that happen.
6. Have my TEFEL course work I need to complete so that I can then look for a job come April.
7. Have had a girl on my mind for months now and I am wondering why...
8. Need to earn money and live cheap
9. Need to get back to Pai after the monastery and kick ass in Muay Thai, because cannot currently proceed to do so because I am smoking like a trooper!
10. Just want everything to happen yesterday. I.e. I want to be in my life, where my mind is. Feeling so not present right now and I think that 10 days in silence will definitely help me disconnent and reflect upon the journey so far.

These are most definitely a high level overview of whats happening inside, but it feels like there is more. I have had a few interesting conversations the past couple of days with different guys I have met along the way and it makes me really feel that I am bipolar. To what degree, I am not sure. To be determined.