Frazzled

I left home 5 months ago certain of my goals and dreams. 5 months later I'm lying on a straw mat on an open field out the front of a Japanese festival called Shambala in the middle of north Thailand. Somewhere...

Slept well, amazing Japanese muesli for breakfast now just me a cup of coffee, a cigarette and my thoughts.

I'm neither here nor there in terms of my mood... Just lots of rolling though my mind.

My health energy and usual vitality is limited... By this i mean that energetically, mentally and physically, i am feeling far from my best. I know the exact reasons why but am for some reason resisting the acceptance of where i am at. Perhaps feeling overwhelmed with what i have to achieve and have therefore not being prioritising my health. It totally can and WILL be reversed. I am the first culprit of tomorrow-i-tis but come this Monday I am back at Muay Thai for a week and going hard. I am in serious need of an organic green cleanse so i can finally do my liver and gallstone cleanse. I'm pretty sure this is what my energy filter needs... A good clean out! To press the reset button!!

Writing helps me mentally to methodically sort through my thoughts and empty the contents of my relentless brain. I'm still looking for the discipline switch in which i need to replace as its been broken for a while.

Meeting the people i have met and seeing the places i have seen only makes me more driven to change, grow and evolve. No body is going to do this for me... We have one life... Why waste it in a negative state stuck in your thoughts, drowning in emotion and practicing procrastination.

My struggle is the practice of patience, self defeating expectations and ... But I endeavour to continue on this journey and see what life brings...