cakE

Chocolate Cheesecake - My Favourite.

Random Cake Facts

• Can you believe as a young kid, I didn't eat cake!
• Until I was 21 I never knew what having your cake and eating it too, meant?
• I don't eat cake nearly enough. 
• Cake makes you smile
• Today I ate a banana cake with chocolate icing on top, yep, with thick fat scrum-didly-umptious icing on top. (Though I Forgot to take a picture)
•  My favourite cake is most definitely a well made chocolate cheese cake with a crumbly biscuit base.

If only I could get my head right. Well its not completely wrong, but its not completely right either. At the moment, day to day is far and few between the rattling noises in my head. An idea, an emotion, a fear, a thrill, a positive surge. Its definitely never boring in here!

A few people I have met along the way on this journey have also made it clear that I am not totally insane. Well not yet anyway! What is common...is that we are all in search of something. To everyone of us, ultimate happiness means something different. To many of us, ultimate happiness is something we already have, To many others, we haven't even thought about it.

Traveling when I was younger was much different. I guess part of the reason I am still here in Thailand is that my travels when I was 23, my first time to Thailand, inspired something inside me, thats for sure. Opportunities that resonate with core beliefs, a slower pace of life (awesome!), appreciating another culture (though my Thai is shit), and of course the welcomed challenge of settling and adapting into a new way of life.

All of them are definitely my favourite ingredients;

• Travel
• Change
• Adventure
• New Experiences
• ....the unexpected

its definitely not for everybody, and at times I wish I could eat, satisfaction, contentment, stability and certainty...but the palette, MY PALETTE is insatiable. Just like chocolate cheesecake, you can't find it everywhere. So till then, I will keep searching for the cake and when I find it, I will savour it, put it in the fridge, admire it and eat it mindfully appreciating every bite and not feel guilty about it.

Metaphorically...I will enjoy the journey.

Actually wait....the chocolate cheesecake is the journey! hmmmm fuck it! Too confusing to argue my own argument. Maybe I will just learn how to make the most amazing chocolate cheesecake. Then I'll be winning! But I kinda am winning already....fuck it! I'm not in the mood to argue.

Checking into a 10 day Vipassana tomorrow somewhere between Pai and Mae Hong Son. I will have all the time in the world to argue with me then. See ya in 10 days...