Have you ever had those feelings, when you are simply confused by what you want, who you want versus what you need versus knowing that you need to love yourself first?
I am often torn by these thoughts and conditions often.
Lust or Desire comes from that place of 'thinking' that if we have something, we fulfill something in ourselves that we can provide our selves.
Love on the other hand is something that we come across when we are ready to receive it and love and approve of ourselves as we are.
In feeling this disconnect I often wonder if I will ever meet someone that truly and unconditionally loves me who I really am. It may sound a little conceited to be thinking like this, and this is not a case of 'poor me'. It simply is an observation of where I am at.
I feel that this journey over the last 9 or so months has taught me alot about myself and in this discovery I have made many realizations about my attitude towards commitment.
If I could reiterate my past verbatim or creative a drama series of my life it would soon become apparent and clear as to how, why and where things changed in order for me to arrive on this island feeling the way I feel. Mostly I have been the saboteur of all the relationships or they were simply not part of my life flow...the latter being the easier ones to get over emotionally, while the ones where I was not a good decision maker caused me lots of pain.
What was the difference?
I think not only has it do to with the flow of life, I also think it has a great deal to do with the fact that I was seeking happiness in another person whilst not being aware of it. When I was in my flow and circumstances did not allow us to be together, it seemed that my head and my heart was quickly able to let go.
The point...
Be sure I remain true to who I am and trust that anyone who comes into my life was brought here for a reason...and to be open and present to that with out expectations. Simple!
I am often torn by these thoughts and conditions often.
Lust or Desire comes from that place of 'thinking' that if we have something, we fulfill something in ourselves that we can provide our selves.
Love on the other hand is something that we come across when we are ready to receive it and love and approve of ourselves as we are.
In feeling this disconnect I often wonder if I will ever meet someone that truly and unconditionally loves me who I really am. It may sound a little conceited to be thinking like this, and this is not a case of 'poor me'. It simply is an observation of where I am at.
I feel that this journey over the last 9 or so months has taught me alot about myself and in this discovery I have made many realizations about my attitude towards commitment.
If I could reiterate my past verbatim or creative a drama series of my life it would soon become apparent and clear as to how, why and where things changed in order for me to arrive on this island feeling the way I feel. Mostly I have been the saboteur of all the relationships or they were simply not part of my life flow...the latter being the easier ones to get over emotionally, while the ones where I was not a good decision maker caused me lots of pain.
What was the difference?
I think not only has it do to with the flow of life, I also think it has a great deal to do with the fact that I was seeking happiness in another person whilst not being aware of it. When I was in my flow and circumstances did not allow us to be together, it seemed that my head and my heart was quickly able to let go.
The point...
Be sure I remain true to who I am and trust that anyone who comes into my life was brought here for a reason...and to be open and present to that with out expectations. Simple!
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