it's not about weight loss then what's it about?

why is it at this time of year (December) all the supposed fitness bloggers and subject matter experts 'harp' on about the 5 best exercises to keep weight off, the 1 secret to weight loss at christmas time. 

Its ridiculous in this day and age to think that any with access to the internet and the overwhelming wealth of information didn't realise that the salted caramel pudding you are putting in your face isn't going to make you fat. 

The equation, incase you forgot is simple, energy out must be greater than energy in. 

End of story.

Beyond the fitness realm there is so much more going on in peoples lives than simply looking skinny or hot. There are countless, boys, girls, women and men all over Sydney focused on how amazing they can look. It may very well stand up as being an indicator of success and having found balance in our life. But on a global or world scale where do these first world issues play a part in self realization and being of service to others.

This is not a stand up argument, it is perhaps a pointless and weak observation through personal struggles to genuinely care about getting my body to a point where I have got rid of every pleasure in my life to parade it down the street.

In the wellness realm the main idea is to establish harmony with ones addictions, flaws and struggles. Harmony by way of dissolving or accepting one's self for the perceived misbehaviours outlined by fitness gurus.

It's all just a matter of opinion in the end anyway but narrow minded conservative media still portray a skinnier and skinnier self to equate happiness amidst all of the global issues of poverty, war, global warming, refugee migration. Its so much easier to turn a blind eye to all of these issues because none of us can immediately fix any of them! But haven't we fitness buffs already learnt that its starts within.

creative jizz

energy that once came so effortlessly, so courageously, so freely feels as if defeat and the harshness of not listening to that little voice within is the scream of the universe demanding my attention to listen closely, more attentively, willingly and honestly. To take action and not be the victim of my own mind telling me not to let people, failure or negative thoughts patterns chase me out of everything I have worked so hard to achieve.

Accept that like everything in nature, emotions and feelings happen in cycles so that we have time to rest, reflect and revision the direction of what is to come.

The unforeseen and unfortunate end of life long friendships are also cycles and evolutions of time and growth and a reflection that even the best of friends do not grow in the same direction.

family connections, disconnect for much the same reason, stubbornness, aggressiveness, to be right! these all the qualities of ego that inadvertently we are here to dissolve, yet sometimes families and those that are the closest to us make it the most challenging to undo, so its far easier to sweep it under the carpet.  

fading

the memory of you fades and my hearts fire starts simmer... sadness wells in the eyes and the enduring pain the lingers... to miss you and to know that this hurts so much. everyday life feels different with out u. it hurts that you are becoming a memory... someone i once was someone who i was lnce with the people we were when we were together. good or bad for each other it just feels so remote, isolating and lonely. its almost like i dont want want to let go of the feelings we once had even knowing how destructive they were... for both us. i miss you boobie! i miss you allot. i remember your face so clearly and the way you felt to wake up next to and kiss goodbye i  the morning. somedays are easy really easy are some days i feel i cant think else. its always so suprising... to have these feelings hit me so strong and I crumble tempted to call and fall back into that bad pattern just to feel soothed and comfort of your embrace. 

Day 9

#30mins300days

sunday yoga self practice, theta meditation workshop in annandale, yin yoga with mel

crazy things we do to heal

im heading to new york in august for a couple of weeks of nothing and to do some yoga studio research catch up with a mate or two but mostly to find my independance again. i know i will be ok because i have made it thru this type of thing before.... this being a relationship that had most of the right ingredients that was possible that was tainted with mistrust... but purely the experience of being with a person who wont own their own behaviour... i stayed for so long because i thought it was me that also needed to change. maybe in bit i did but not to the degree that our whole relationship demanded.

break up #6

what a disaster! this time it feels like we are both at our limit. the last message declaring 'i have nothing left' resonated and struck a cord in her too. I havent heard from her since sunday night and it makes me want to cry! a part is wishes she wouldnt text and huge lart of me for the last two days does. I dont want her to be in lain and i know she will be in more lain than i. well its nice to think like this unfortunately! it brings some sort of comfort. But i know she doesnt have the support and mind space that i have in my life. But who the fuck am i to speculate. for wll i know she might be happy as fuck! energised! laughing! relieved! who cares!!!!! i have to stop thinking of it this way. But i know she will be suffering allot! i wish i was there to help with home renos to acheive something so awesome and cool together. i wish we were going to hawaii together!

I miss her face, her smell, her body, her voice, her name appearing on the screen of my phone when she calls, stickers, kisses, her version of love,laughing talking, cooking meals together, party for two. 

some great memories well spent....

BUT THE PAIN!!! the anger! Icant any more... it hurts too much!! 

It shouldnt be this hard! its hard allot. i have lost so much of mysrlf... i know it can be found again of course but it will take some time. time to consciously heal. 30 mins for 30 days is a program i am gonna stick to. 

30 mins of moaning and pining is allowed for 3o days as well as 30 mins of cardio. Cardio or crying!! lets the poison and toxins of this heartbreak leave me. leading me slowly and steadily back to self love. 

Santosha = contentment

Quite often my curiosity drives me to dig deep into a particular concept or idea...here is one of the 196 Pantajali aphorisms for living. Santosha.

Pantanjali SUTRA 2.42 

[Santosha anuttamah sukha labhah]

From an attitude of contentment (santosha), unexcelled happiness, mental comfort, joy, and satisfaction is obtained.

Contentment comes from within: We humans seem to always be seeking satisfaction in the external world and our internal fantasies. Only when we comfortably accept what we currently have will be able to do the practices that lead to the highest realization.

If we are able to be content with whatever we have – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually etc– we are going to be at ease (sukha) with ourselves, wherever we are. This is not a contentment of a tamasic nature. A tamasic contentment is for those who do not do anything (or have someone else do it for them). The rajasic one is for those who ‘do’ yet seek recognition while the sattvic contentment is for those who do without ‘showing’ that they are doing. From the ‘outside’, it looks like they are not doing anything at all. Here, again, the extremes apparently look the same. Both the tamasic and the sattvic approach may look the same (as they are not ‘seen’ doing anything) but the sattvic actually ‘do’ and thereby attain santhosha.

When we are contented, we gain unexcelled joy as we are at peace with ourselves and we are totally at ease. When we are content with whatever we get, we ‘get’ everything we ‘need’. Dichotomy doesn’t exist in contentment anymore and so we are one with the universe. When the Divine knows that we are not after anything, it will give everything to us without our even needing to ask. 

Why do people want a degree, a job, a wife, children, a house, a car? Because they think it will make them happy. This only feeds discontent. The moment we realize that we can have happiness with ‘whatever we get’, we then get ‘all’. Interestingly in the Dravidian Tamil language, santosham means happiness. Please remember discontent is unhappiness. As my beloved Swamiji used to say, “You do not have a problem, ‘you’ are the problem!” 

Discontent is what is being marketed by advertising today. This is also true in the world of yoga. Instead of saying “yoga will solve all your problems” one should say that yoga can help you cope better with your condition. This is more correct and truer. Otherwise one only feeds more and more discontent. In the world of yoga today one sees the marketing for more gadgets that one MUST have, if one is to experience the ‘right’ yoga session: mats, straps, bricks, belts and so on and so forth. What nonsense! It is getting to the point where if you do not have the ‘right gadgets’ you cannot practice yoga! Isn’t that the most absurd thing you have ever heard? Amazing, yet true. 

Santosham is truly an inner attitude of contentment with ‘who’ or ‘what’ we are, ‘where’ we are and with every life situation we face. This is the key to our ‘tuning’ into our anandamaya kosha, our universal blissful existence. Think about the concept of nishkama, as espoused by Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita: do not be attached to the ‘fruits of the action’ but only concentrate on making the best effort. Let go of the results. Why do we do things? If it is in anticipation and expectation of the result, we will never be content. The curse of discontentment will follow us like a dark shadow until we wake up to the reality of love and life.

Do things out of love. Do them out of profound and deeply spiritual interest, and not due to any limited and mundane material interest. 

Your life will then be blessed every moment by santosha.

Resource:

http://www.yogalifecyprus.com/unexcelled-ease-and-bliss-awaits-those-who-perfect-contentment-by-dr-ananda.html

putting it out there universe

in 5 years from today i have had the most extraodinary five years I am living my dream. 

I am able to share body knowledge and wisdom with those that enter my yoga space i teach with heart from the heart. 

I do listen to my body and only act with integrity, life flows with ease because i am present and at peace with myself.

I only have people, a partner and close friends that i devote my time to that need me as much as i need them, we make each others light shine brighter.

please accept i'm not perfect. my intentions are not to hurt you its my ego working to hurting me to hurt us. the pure part of me that that loves me that love you that loves us honestly didn't act with 

Wisdom to live by - Paramahansa Yogananda

It is not a pumping-in from the outside that gives wisdom; it is the power and extent of your inner recep- tivity that determines how much you can attain of true knowledge, and how rapidly. You can quicken your evolution by awakening and increasing the receptive power of your brain cells.

Paramahansa Yogananda

learn three important techniques of the Self-Realization teachings:

1. Technique of Energization: enables one to draw energy consciously into the body from the Cosmic Source. This technique of life-energy control purifies and strengthens the body and prepares it for meditation, making it easier to direct the energy inward in order to reach higher states of consciousness. Regular practice also pro- motes mental and physical relaxation and develops dynamic will power.

2. Technique of Concentration: helps to develop one’s latent powers of concentration. Through practice of this technique one learns to withdraw thought and energy from outward distractions so that they may be focused on any goal to be achieved or problem to be solved. Or one may direct that concentrated attention toward realizing the Divine Consciousness within.

3. Technique of Meditation: shows one how to use the power of concentration in the highest way—to discover and develop the divine qualities of one’s own true Self. The technique expands the awareness beyond limitations of body and mind to the joyous realization of one’s infinite potential.

Change yourself and you have done your part in changing the world. Every individual must change his own life if he wants to live in a peaceful world. The world cannot become peaceful unless and until you yourself begin to work toward peace. It is only by removing hate from our hearts that we can live a Christ- like life.

what will bring me peace?

this way and that way 

upside down and inside out

foggy waters, stormy clouds

crsytal ball tell me what the future beholds!? 

ask these questions there will be no resolve... peace does not live here it comes from within. 

deep with in the calm waters of crystal mind be at peace and you will find a sense of sense that will not compromise for the sake of someone else what peace beholds

what will bring me peace?

this way and that way,

upside down and inside out,

foggy waters, 

stormy clouds,

would life be easier as a pretzel all tied up in knots?

crsytal ball tell me what the future beholds!? if it were only this simple life would be dull.

ask these questions there will be no resolve...peace on the outside starts from within. 

below skin deep are calm waters and crystal mind...  peace and love the nectar of growth and harmony you will find! 

if you want to shine, do not compromise for the sake of someone else... it will bring destruction and chaos. 

sombre and sober

time goes by so slowly...when the heart feels lonely. distracted and diluted by booze all feels far from what was so real. its like i was just in it and now... well now im not. a hard snap of the rubber band quickly slaps you in the face to tell you this is not right this is not the love you live for and then here I am....

...to learn myself again... what a delight. how quickly we forget ones highest intelligence our souls desire...but this sombre lethargic energy of loss and longing forbodes my clarity. to be raw, to be real to be seen, 

i know i will be found again its the intention of the journey in the first place...but it must first be to purify my thoughts and to love thy self with compassion... 

great another year in india!! 

not sure...

sounds all to familiar especially if you are in my sphere of thoughts..especially recently. ha more than likely you are a derivative. a derivative of the sounds in mind that are incessantly here  to distract me from the truth of what needs to happen; would should or could. it doesnt matter anyways...im still not sure.

i want you, i dont, i love you but not sure, we can do this, no we cant, lets try again oh... we already have and look now... alone again, lost. another stupid argument! i did not get you, you did not get me this is not the way things are supposed to be. I wish could find the seamless connection with each other we both long for!! but ..... it keeps happening and hurts a little more each time. ouch! ...

my gee drug

you are my drug... we work then we need a fix, a fix that breaks us a little more as one as two we destroy a piece of ourselves each and every fix.

our worlds collided like a crash like something from the get go was never meant to be... we knew it from the start but we went against the grain and lied to our deepest darkest truth.

we stay together out of love but not the love that helps us grow

our destiny has run it course and now it rears the ugly...

your are not mine i am not yours we must find our souls desire... unconditional love to love with out conditions without the expectation of what might be acceptance of how things are at any given moment, to adjust accordingly. 

the irony of this is that... it was about 1 year ago since my last blog and my love and i had just found each other... like all good things... they seem to come to an end!