Practice, Patience & Perfection

When we speak about developing skills...in relation to movement there are a few words that come to mind...that are also the perfect metaphor for the development of the mind.

Practice: continually practicing to be better in my movement has changed the way I look, feel and interpret whats going on. Sounds ridiculous, but its not until you really know your body; strengths, weakness, limitations that you discover something about your own character and sense of self. Your perspective on life changes, your perception of what happens to you is changed because you know that you are totally accountable as the driver of your destiny.

For instance in the last 2 weeks (even less) I reconnected with a great bunch of people. For 5 days straight, we got hammered physically and the only thing that then keeps you going, because the body has clearly left the building, is the will to be there, the thirst for knowledge, the thrill of the limitless possibilities, the desire to be more.

A cool little quote...

Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.

Is a Virtue...

Patience: refers to "all good things come to those who wait". By this I mean, progression. Being certain that life presents to you what you need to learn when you are ready to learn it. Just like the body will adapt and make changes when "with consistent practice"  you show up on the mat time and time again to reinforce to the body that it is ready to move along to something more complex. At times we all wish that things could of happened yesterday, but you soon learn and appreciate more that all the hard work pays off in the end. I find this to be a real test of my character. Right now, I am so ready to depart and commence my journey. But I know that wishing time away and not being present to all the good stuff going on in my life is not the answer. So therefore I savour every moment and am present to what is currently going on...and its good shit! Blessed!

Perfection:

MYOB

I haven't blogged in a few days, it seems that lots has been happening, my head space is clear, relaxed, focused and content. So whats been happening...

I went to yoga for the first time in about 10 days this morning, felt tighter than usual but due to changes in my training and allot more intensity, this was expected. But have come out of there feeling great.

I have also been spending time catching up with the people that I will miss while I am gone. So more alcohol than normal is being consumed. Not excessive, but more than normal. But to offset this and create a more balanced Liz Smiz, I have got back into my sand running with a good friend from work. She's actually my little partner in crime at work on a wed and fri, so hanging out with someone fresh and new to my life is also awesome.

I titled this post MYOB, because we all need to mind / manage our own business (life love etc) before we can pass judgement or help someone else manage theirs. I say this diplomatically because it was also partly my doing, involving a friend (well ex girlfriend) in something that is going on for me presently. Things are cool now, we had a discussion and to make her happy and to disconnect her from what was / is going on I had to tell a little white lie. Sometimes necessary when someone clearly does not understand the crux of the situation and will continue to deposit judgmental statements and opinions. My lesson is learnt... I now know where she stands, I care for her as a friend but as I am a grown woman I can handle my business just fine. Nuff said!

Exactly 4 Weeks Today!

It's all finally coming together, yep, exactly 4 weeks till I depart this 'is'land girked by sea.

Today woke up feeling great after having my best mate Eug over for a Winter BBQ! stretched and laughed all night! Went to yoga, missed the class cuz of Sydney traffic...grrrr and then got home in an energetic rage of "I need to run"! went for a run, played with flow fit, plyo metric jumps and lunges, more flow fit and of course hand stands, head stands and forearm balance. As you do...

Tomorrow I start my tactfit program, which has me doing 'commando' using tabata protocol! considering I spent 5 days doing this stuff already, my body feels great and is buzzing to get into this 26 day + 1 day program.

Blog may get boring, but fuck it!! I thought I was bitching and moaning about head space before, but now I will really have something to bitch about! I might just add here that I'm feeling the most together I have felt in a long time and now the only thing left to do is just train my ass before my departure!...why not!

Tacfit Day 2

Day 2 mission complete...now I cannot feel anything! which is great. Love feeling like this... Today we completed 3 more protocols, Delta, Echo (bitch)!!, Foxtrot!

Just for the record (my memory) some other take home info we learnt was, hollow body, fibonacci numbers (the numbers used to determine the reps set in the program, the way the program cycles etc), GMB floor 1, 180 deg turns, 360 deg turns plus balance. Partner Intu-Flow, Judo, how to take a man down using the direction of ones own body, absorbing impact in order to transfer the energy into then taking your opponent down....hmmmmm interesting shit! So much to learn, the brain is on overdrive and the pallet is thirsty for more!

Starting Saturday I am going to complete 26 days of Tacfit. One workout per day working at medium intensity, followed by Prasara and Intu-Flow morning and night to keep the body primed and prepped for the next days mission. Sounds crazy, but I'm secretly bursting with fruit flavours inside for Saturday to come around so I can kick my own ass on a daily basis!

This will bring me close to my departure date for London and leave me feeling focused, fit and ready to go...

...Followed by 4 weeks in an ashram in India working more on my own Yoga practice whilst enabling my mind to overcome personal limitations using meditation and breathing.

My journey into movement has begun! Bring it...!

Post-Tacfit Day 1

WOW!!! what a buzz. Day 1 Tacfit complete...Ok it was a little modified, but only so we could focus on structure, form, breathe and movement. 

I personally thought I was going to die, having never done tacfit before, but in the end, it just goes to show that you can never underestimate your self, your potential, your mind! Getting in and giving it a go is the biggest challenge. Just like in yoga, the challenge is getting to the mat and then practicing the discipline you learn on the mat off the mat.

Fuck 2011 has been a crazy year. Last year, getting out of bed everyday was a challenge. Only because 'garunteed', something was to go wrong or an obstacle would appear just to test you further. But this year (2011) its like nothing is too hard to over come with the right mindset. You quickly learn, if you just get up, dust your self off and try again...that your capabilities as a human being are 'limitless'! Each and every time you get up to try again you increase your threshold or capacity to handle more and more. It may sound obvious, but way too many people only try once, fail, and never have the courage to believe in themselves to try again. Conditioning them selves to believe that great things are not possible...Bullshit!

For me, today, my perception of Tactfit was this insane program designed for military, special forces and tactical response teams ???. Therefore I wasn't too confident in my ability or fitness for that matter. (Sad to say for a trainer)... Anyways, as soon as we did the 'commando challenge' I was buzzing! We then completed 2 more missions Bravo and Charlie. what a rush...!! 

More than anything, I liked having the structure, specific exercise selection, timed bursts of intensity and rest with a firm goal to work toward.

Looking forward to day 2...

Pre-TacfiT Day 1

OMG...how has this happened. I'm very excited though. I may not be saying that when I'm convulsing and foaming at the mouth...

The last 3 days has been dedicated to Instructor Certification for CST (flowfit and club bells) It has been an amazing experience to work with people I aspire to be like. But somehow, I got roped (convinced) into doing another 2 days of the course doing tacfit. I have never done any of the tactfit programs purely because I'm scared and just haven't been exposed to any of the workouts. I have seen allot of the workouts via you tube and read some info here and there on it but never actually completed a workout. So...I'm thinking it maybe just what I need to kick my ass into better shape.

Either way, I'm scared as I am excited. I like this feeling, the feeling of the unknown. I will probably cry, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Its only 2 days.

Ryan Hurst

What an inspirational human being! This weekend, I have been offered the opportunity to work with him. What an honour! 

I wasn’t even going to attend the course, because for one reason or another I have been focused on saving and getting my ass outta Sydney in order to begin my own journey into movement.

Anyways, Ryan is essentially a movement genius. By saying this I mean, that he has explored movement himself for many many years and is now dedicated to mentoring and coaching others to greatness and creating programs that breakdown movements for beginners and also sophisticate and progress athletes  and like minded people to move more efficiently and effortlessly in order to achieve 'flow'. He connects with people at such a personal level and can relate discipline, focus and passion to real life issues that can be dealt with on the mat. The most memorable thing that he said to me tonight was “if you feel like shit, you will move like shit” nuff said really.

Editing blog 22.8.11

Just adding to this post, because having spent a few more days training with Ryan. I have learnt that 'we' (crazy mutha fuckers) are all on our own journey into movement. The level we are at is irrelevant, we gravitate toward what resonates with us and as part of this we learn more about ourselves at a personal level as well. Ryan and his own personal life experiences has taught me that we are all individuals on our own journey constantly searching to learn more, self correcting, refining and evolving!


Thank you 'Sensei' Ryan :)

Circular Strength Training

2011 was going to be a dedicated adventure, whereby I committed to working with a group of like minded people doing what’s called CST (Circular Strength Training). I love the philosophy, the movement and the people in the community. After all these years, its exactly what I had been looking for. CST represents to me the ‘balance’ or ‘harmony’ of what I believe is the essence to wellness. To be able to play with CST you need to have a multi-tude of skills and obviously the right mindset. Strength, Flexibility, Core Strength, Co-ordination and Balance achieved in harmony is what will make the individual perform and move better, commitment and mindset is what will set you apart from what traditional movement and or training technique offers.

Where I sit. Currently, I am setting off on a mission / journey to a) take a break, rejuvenate and eliminate some inner daemons of habit and lifestyle. Like pressing the re-set button to detoxify my mind and body of old thoughts and habits in order to unleash my true potential. Right now, I am struggling to do so, due to my lifestyle, lack of routine and just habitual behaviours.

But never, in my entire life have I felt as committed to something as I do right now. It is also the commitment to my self to make permanent life long changes.

What I love about this style of movement is the limitless possibilities presents, like life! We are only limited to what we think can do, by what we think we can do. Its pretty simple stuff really!! Easy to say that now, but for so many years my unconsciousness or perhaps my lack of awareness toward my unconsciousness has led me in different directions to no avail. I now know, that this also had to happen in order for me to find what it is that drives me. I guess I am one of the lucky ones that has all this energy to be a ‘seeker’, many people remain unconscious their whole life and never really discover their true potential. So for this I am thankful. Every failure, every situation, hurt or pain that I have experienced and felt up until now has enable me to find what it is that inspires me, accept me and love me. This break is the opportunity for me to be me out there in this world, take the ‘creative lid off’ and let it flow with uninterrupted ‘life’ getting in the way.

I have all the tools I need for me to capture what’s going on in there. Video camera, laptop and me!

Why don’t I just start now!? Well, like I said…life! Mine at the moment, leaves me feeling tired, run down, heavy physically, just busy busy busy, too busy to take the lid off. It feels like I am leaking and stuff is ready to come out. But I don’t feel that its completely the right time.

As for CST. I will be back, doing the course this weekend and re-connecting with people that inspire me…has only given me more drive and determination to shine. So between now and the 25^th September, I will keep practicing, playing, writing and start detoxifying my body. Boom! The girl knows where she’s at!!...

Simply Simplify

I have terrible internet service at my new place...so I wrote this on the 17.08.11

If it were only that easy. To remove the shit in your life you don’t like, that does your head in, that drains you on energy, that limits the amount of creative energy you offer to the world. Doing the stuff you don’t like is supposed to make you stronger, the character building of a more refined human being that presents to the world as a person of knowledge, experience, grey hair and wisdom.

In a nutshell, I find all the stuff that we don’t enjoy doing a waste of, time, energy, brain power and passion. So anything I don’t enjoy doing appears to others as intolerant, recalcitrant, defiant and ignorant. But like I said, bullshit! Why should one spend their time doing what they don’t enjoy doing. For a purpose, yeah maybe we can let that slide, but for the long haul…if your not happy, change it!

Come to think of it, maybe this is the force of my personality to be reckoned with! Yep…the “change” lover! Not coins…but situational change!... I speak sarcastically, because my viewpoint is subjective to the situation that I am in now…but the reason I speak of this, and even call this post ‘simplify’ is because life is simple! It is us who makes it complex, challenging and confusing…(ahhh ‘C’ words, I love you!)…sometimes I forget to step back and have a look at the picture, the vision, the mental image that I am working toward 'wholistically'. 

Here is a ramble that will probably not make allot of sense...
Yep!! Love Life; none, nada, niente, attracted to unobtainable situations. Personal Training; My clients, love them, great fun, best part of my week, good hourly rate, Part Time Pub Job, long hours, tired, though not stressful, fun people to work with, meet customers, helps my finances...exhale...Now that I have sorted various things out, debt reduction, planned my travels and remained focused worked long hours all around the clock, squeezing in catch ups with friends, good friends, one really close friend that I hold dear to my heart and even made time for my self, yoga and sand running...exhale... I can also be a bit of a loner really, must have my time and lots of it, it revitalises my inner world, there is no one worthy or ready to accept me just yet.  Family; great individuals, love me unconditionally, but as parents all things considering, I think they did a great job raising me, I say this with acceptance now, because if they were the perfect parents that I want them to be then Liz Smiz would be a totally different human being. What else, general drama… we all need a little drama, it keeps life interesting…but I have had so much drama in the past 4 years that I could write a TV- mini series!...inhale...

W.T.F

Quick Vent...

feeling a little frustrated with my self and my head space today. Not uncommon! But, particularly so because I feel that I have had all I can handle and am squeezing in all that I can to create a 70 hour week not including sleep. What I want to make time for is not possible because of circumstances, so have to leave that aside and because I am living a lie. At times I feel like a fraud. I say I am passionate about this, but behave like that…There is definitely an inner conflict and I have asked myself many times, am I truly passionate about what I do? The answer always (well except for the middle of this year) comes back as a yes. So am I being honest? 

I struggle to live to my values, knowledge and experience... walk the talk …professionally, I am bang on with my clients, business wise, ehhhh submit stuff on time, invoices blah blah….hmmmm well except tax. (Digress) but really being true to what I do, my friend pinned it as “walking contradiction” I retaliated with the word balance…but she is right! Mostly its just stupidity, smoking! What a crock! I hate that I do it, yet cant stop doing it. Its my little companion. My little time out. Thinking time. I know that if I am to do it, I should just enjoy it. But I don’t understand, how something that I dislike so much, I do so often. Grrrrr see…inner conflict.

living Om (Aum)

I got sick last week and it really knocked me about. I think I said, as I don't get sick often I'm not very good at completely stopping and taking the time out for the rest my body probably really needs. I know I have been smashing it and trying to balance everything going on in my life weather it needs to happen or not. Actually, not much of what I do does not need to happen... tangent...

Anyways, laying in bed last Wednesday, I was restless and just not feeling right. I'm sure it's many things on my mind that are the cause of this, but ultimately I think being sick was my bodies way of telling me to stop, pause, breathe, relax and have a look at the 'picture' I am in. Sometimes we get caught up in the picture and become the picture that it then becomes hard to have an open mind about the picture.... make sense?...

So while laying in my bed, I was looking at the 'Om' symbol I had tattooed on my left wrist and was trying to think back to my head space in October 2009 when I had this done. What was going on then, was very different to what is going on now, but yes parallels can be drawn. My head space after a long haul of emotions through broken relationships and a struggle of acceptance as to who I am versus who I thought I was...and finally being able to break free of this, regain strength and slap on some resilience cream was probably the biggest motive for me to get a symbolic tattoo.

I chose the Om symbol, because regardless of the situation or any situation for that matter, it was about learning to live in the present. In the present, where you have come from and where you are going are irrelevant. The meaning has shifted allot since 2009 as it was also a point in my career when I felt least passionate and needed a daily reminder to live 'Om'.

So present day, living 'Om' not only means living in the present, it also means to live in harmony with your highest values. Taking all of life's experiences, the good the bad and the ugly and apply the lessons learnt to how you live now and in the future. Being in tune with your higher self and listening to your instinct, your gut, your initial feeling toward a situation when a question in doubt appears or vice verse. I must admit, that I am no Mary McKillop (Saint) and still struggle with listening to the inner voice, but the difference now is that I at least hear it and feel uneasy if I choose to ignore it...A-U-M.

honesty is always the best policy

Regardless of weather or not I should or shouldn’t feel this way. It is what it is. We got ourselves here, not out of spite or malicious intentions, its just the way life flows. We were brought to each others life to learn lessons, to discover aspects about ourselves that we could so easily leave to the way side and remain complacent. But when you get a kick up the ass and life presents something to you that not even temptation can resist, what do you do? Ignore it? Well we can try, but the reality is not that simple. Higher consciousness tells us otherwise, but emotions tell us what we feel.

So you asked me what it is I want, right now? My answer is this… I want to go on my trip, follow my heart and focus on my dreams. As for you, I want to continue to get to know you better just the way it is. Its not to say we have to be physical every time we see each other nor does it mean we have to hold back when we are together. Guess that’s the going with the flow part.

I know its hard for me to be the person that’s there for you when you are going through something else with someone else. So I just want you to know that I am here for you with no judgement or expectations of what and how you manage this. I know its easier to say than to live by, but I want you to know that I mean it. Like I keep saying, I have my journey ahead of me and I barely know what the next 3 months will bring. I definitely do not want to add to your head space so never feel that you are doing wrong by me. I am a grown woman, that is responsible for her own feelings and though you may feel I deserve more. Right now, I have it all. I have worked hard and got the results of what I deserve. That is, an amazing journey planned, great people in my life and my own inner contentment of who I am and where I am going.

I like to think both of us with our higher consciousness can see that we are both great girls that have great values for living.

Sorry for calling in a drunken state and talking shit and probably creating the issue, but my head is like that and I just like to make sure we understand where each other are coming from.

xx

SiCK as BiTCH

wow, what a quick 6 days it has been. Ive not gone this long with out blogging since I started this. Oh well, life does that. I've had lots to say, but sometimes observing my thoughts is just as interesting.

So now that I am sick. SiCK as a BiTCH in fact! here is what I am thinking today.

I never get sick. I mean never. I still think I can count on two hands the number of times in my life I have been sick. Seriously. Im usually made of steel. Often I refer to myself as ‘Titanium’. But this time, not so much. I'm more like titanium covered with cotton wool. I am lying on my bed after a painful 45 min session in the city feeling really sorry for myself. I like to think of my self as an extrodinary human being that is invisible. That’s right, in destructible & untouchable. Looks like the little germs found me and here I am, weak, sneezing and coughing.

It makes me wonder, am I currently doing too much? I think yes, but my ‘vision’ says NO! push on, suck it up, your almost there. I know I am, but a full day off would really help!

What’s been going on since my last post… Well besides working, I have kind of been seeing someone. The circumstances are not ideal, moral judgement and core values say, leave it and if it’s meant to be it will be. But how do you ignore a connection, an intrigue, curiosity, passion. I’m not sure that you do?

I know me pretty well and I know I get caught up in matters of the heart. But in each time that I have, I have always felt something more than a fling, a one night stand, a one off. Its just the way that I am built. I have also had my run of learning experiences and string of girls that have been beautifully presented to me to reflect and teach me more about me. When do we stop learning? When we stop learning, we stop growing and evolving. I’m not sure which freaks me out more, when the learning stops or when the growing stops. I think it’s a bit of a spiritual oxymoron.

So in my situation the moral dilemma is; remain present or adhere to values.

Both of these rank high to me on a personal ricta scale, but in this instance hearts besides my own can be broken. We have spoken about this time and time again, but the circle eludes us both. We have dissected the scenario and all possible out comes numerous times and our feelings when we are lying in bed together bring us back to the present and set our values to the side.

I am leaving in 7 weeks and I am remaining true to my goals and inner most desire to experience more, learn more and just be me. What happens while I am away is purely the flow of life…

a chooo...

:D ThE BeLLY LaUgh :D

Liz Swimming with Kick Board to Balmain

"Nothing like a good Belly Laugh"

I just wrote an email to a really good friend the other day, saying I haven't had a belly laugh in ages. Like a really good hard laugh, like when it's impossible to stop laughing and you and the person your talking with, continue to add 'ridiculous'ness''on to the joke and keep laughing even harder....

...then tonight while stretching and relaxing (after calling in sick to work) ... (ooops) .... (just needed a night off).... (no particular excuse; besides, having to move house, train clients, teach classes (lots of covers this week), settle in to new house, work a night time bar job)....

....I called my wonderful new yoga friend 'Fabs', Fabienne, Fabian, Fabalicious...LOL! we were just discussing our week, work, play, yoga... whateves! and somewhere in and amongst all that conversation, where I lived, massage, Balmain, Anzac Bridge, me swimming from my place to Balmain, using a kick board to get from black wattle bay to where Fabs works in Balmain...she's a masseuse...and so the hysterical'ness' continued..you definitely would have had to been in the conversation to get it. But funny story ~ "short"! I scored my first Belly Laugh in what feels like a months!

...that's all...!

Glebe...

it's a little pre-mature, but this is my first official night living in my new Sydney suburb Glebe. The move had to take place a little earlier than anticipated as I have so much work on this week and will not be able to do it over the weekend. The whole process was seemingly simple, the most complex, being the bed of course and even that wasn't hard as it could of been. Its only a temporary move for about 6 weeks until I depart for my epic journey.

The thing I love about Glebe, besides its amazing location. Is that there is parking on Glebe Point Road, no matter what time of day! lots of little cafes and down to earth people floating around. Meaning, that Glebe is a refreshing break from your typical pretentious sydney suburb, and allot different to the 'riff raff' that floats around Newtown these days. Glebe also has a diverse socio-economic spread. HouseO's versus waterfront living. Hmmm could mean a little dodgEY, but if you have a lock up garage, then your sweet!...

Anyways..

Moving here, really marks the beginning of the countdown for me and my journey. Presently my creative juices are literally flowing. I have allot of positive energy which I have been channeling into my thoughts, writing of course, business plans and road maps. I have a few ideas which could really kick off, but definitely refinement and specificity. At this stage it is to be expected, "dreams gone wild" (could actually be a film title) hehehe. But thoughts are random and ad hoc and have very little follow through. I am exploring whats out there and going with what resonates.

ooo circles ooo

...it was only last night that I was talking about circles...then when I logged on to facebook this morning. A friends wall post had this image...I thought it was a bit random, considering the "circular" discussion!

Circles ooo

Often we go round and round in circles, trying to come to the right conclusion.

In the instance I am holding in my mind, all possible outcomes and repercussions have been evaluated and yes many of them are negative, do you stop the flow of life? i.e a good feeling hold you back?

As evolved as I feel, I am really struggling to do whats right here. Yes people can get hurt, but to say they will. 'Proceed Cautiously'! But I cannot honestly sit here and say that these are the intentions behind the actions, but due to the nature of the situation the unintentional actions make it appear as actions of intention. See?...'circles'.

complexity, temptation, attraction, curiosity, desire. All words that appeal to me in more ways than one. Each can come at varying degrees and cause us to behave unexpectedly because our human condition is to inquire, take risks, be drawn intuitively to something that fulfills a need, or a void that we presently have, or simply to learn more about ourselves. We may or may not know what the is until we are presented with it. Then the next word becomes 'Resist'. How do we resist the temptation?

As we are constantly changing, every day and minute, are highest values can go straight out the window before our very eyes if we are presented with an opportunity, a connection a solution to something we feel will will make us happy. It may only be a realisation, but it means a change from where we currently are or a shift in our perception of what is.

Fuck that's complex. I'm leaving it there. I have not only gone in circles in my head, it seems to have made a spiralling effect! eeeeek a spiraling circle...ain't that like a tornado!?

Good night x