Quick Vent...
feeling a little frustrated with my self and my head space today. Not uncommon! But, particularly so because I feel that I have had all I can handle and am squeezing in all that I can to create a 70 hour week not including sleep. What I want to make time for is not possible because of circumstances, so have to leave that aside and because I am living a lie. At times I feel like a fraud. I say I am passionate about this, but behave like that…There is definitely an inner conflict and I have asked myself many times, am I truly passionate about what I do? The answer always (well except for the middle of this year) comes back as a yes. So am I being honest?
feeling a little frustrated with my self and my head space today. Not uncommon! But, particularly so because I feel that I have had all I can handle and am squeezing in all that I can to create a 70 hour week not including sleep. What I want to make time for is not possible because of circumstances, so have to leave that aside and because I am living a lie. At times I feel like a fraud. I say I am passionate about this, but behave like that…There is definitely an inner conflict and I have asked myself many times, am I truly passionate about what I do? The answer always (well except for the middle of this year) comes back as a yes. So am I being honest?
I struggle to live to my values, knowledge and experience... walk the talk …professionally, I am bang on with my clients, business wise, ehhhh submit stuff on time, invoices blah blah….hmmmm well except tax. (Digress) but really being true to what I do, my friend pinned it as “walking contradiction” I retaliated with the word balance…but she is right! Mostly its just stupidity, smoking! What a crock! I hate that I do it, yet cant stop doing it. Its my little companion. My little time out. Thinking time. I know that if I am to do it, I should just enjoy it. But I don’t understand, how something that I dislike so much, I do so often. Grrrrr see…inner conflict.
No comments:
Post a Comment